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5 Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship

Being in a relationship can be the best feeling in the world. Having that one person that you’re able to share everything with, do all your favorite activities with, and who can support you in your endeavours — not much can beat that.

But sometimes — in even what seem to be healthy relationships —  things can go wrong, and it can be easy to dismiss them or convince yourself that those things aren’t a big deal. The line between an affectionate relationship and a controlling, dangerous one can oftentimes be pretty hard to distinguish.

Dosomething.org‘s new “1 in 5” campaign aims to bring awareness to relationship abuse and violence. In reality, one in five young adults will have an experience with an abusive partner, and the chances are higher for young women. Though it can be difficult at times to spot the signs, it’s important to be aware of them as much as possible. If you see any of these five signs, remove yourself from the situation and get help as soon as possible.

1. They get upset or accusatory if you don’t reply to a text or call immediately.

If your partner gets frustrated with you for not being immediately responsive to their texts or calls, this is a sign of abuse. Though on the surface it may simply appear to be a sign of jealousy or care, in reality it is a form of unwarranted interrogation. It’s important to be able to distinguish your partner checking up to make sure you got safely from being overbearing in getting a response back on a regular basis.

 2.  They blame you for their own mistakes.

Getting into arguments with your partner is normal, but it isn’t normal is if your partner starts to blame you for things you have no responsibility for. It is never okay for your partner to assign blame to you for mistakes or problems that you were never a part of to begin with. If you notice this happening, it’s time to walk away.

3. They get jealous when you want to spend time with others.

When you’re in a relationship, it’s still very important to ration your time between your significant other, your friends, and your family. If you ever notice that your partner gets defensive or angry when you want to spend time with other people in your life, this is an unhealthy sign that needs to be addressed. Again, it’s important not to get these things confused with healthy jealousy or mere affection.

4. They constantly criticize you for your decisions and actions.

One of the most important parts of a relationship is having someone by your side who supports you and motivates you in your life choices. If your partner ever starts to ridicule you or insult your decisions, this is a definite sign of abuse. It’s important not to confuse critiques or pieces of advice with a discrediting of your character and choices.

5. They try to change you.

When you get into a relationship, it’s because you like the person for all of their beauty and willingly accept their flaws. If your partner tries to change you in any way — whether they tell you you need to change your physical appearance, or something about your personality traits — this is a sign of disrespect and is extremely unhealthy. A partner should do all they can to lift you up as a person. Make sure you don’t confuse your partner motivating you from them trying to change big parts of what makes you, you.

image courtesy of Her Campus Media. 

Sarah Ahern is a sophomore at UC Irvine studying literary journalism. Aside from writing for HerCampus, she interns for the self-help website DreamitAlive.com. In her free time, she enjoys writing, playing tennis, and baking.
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