It can be easy to blame yourself for the things you did and did not do. It’s easy to point the finger at yourself and beat yourself up instead of considering all the factors as to why you were unsuccessful and did not get what you wanted. I have gotten rejected by several groups I have applied to be a part of, and felt like a complete failure as soon as I read the email that told me I would not get a second interview. I told myself I wasn’t likeable and that I wasn’t good enough. That I should have made myself stand out more. As I cried because of how badly I wanted the things I was rejected for, my best friend gave me some much-needed advice.
- You Are Good Enough
-
Don’t ever let anyone make you feel like you need to change yourself to please them. People prefer individuals who are themselves instead of individuals who pretend to be something they are not. You should celebrate who you are, instead of making a list of everything that needs to be changed.
- You really don’t know the reasons why you were rejected
-
There are so many things to take into consideration when it comes to applicants. Sometimes people are looking for a very specific person and sometimes there are just too many great applicants for a certain amount of available jobs. Just because you were not picked does not mean you are any less than the people who were.
- You Are Where You Need To Be
-
As cheesy as it sounds, opportunities open when others close. If you really want what you applied to, work hard in other things you enjoy and apply again when the time comes. Make your rejections a learning experience. Whether it’s a second or third or fourth time, show people you are made of thick skin and keep pushing till you achieve everything you want. If they put you down, get back up with twice as much energy and resiliency. Don’t cry and let strangers stop you from doing amazing things.
- Don’t forget everything else you have accomplished already.
-
Even the smallest things can be milestones. Instead of focusing on what you didn’t get and what went wrong, focus on everything you are doing right. Everything you have already accomplished in your life. Whether it’s getting into UCLA, the #1 public university, or passing a difficult class, you should be proud of what you have already achieved.
Rejections don’t define you. You decide how you want to be defined. As hard as it can be, don’t be your worst critic. Be your personal cheerleader.
Self care should always come first.