The phrase “you are a reflection of your five closest friends” was coined by author and motivational speaker Jim Rohn, according to Elevate. When I first heard this phrase, I thought, “This is so cool; what a way to express how you contribute pieces of your personality to the ones that you love!”
With that being said, the truth is that friendship is ever-changing. It is unhealthy for any kind of relationship to stay static because then there wouldn’t be much of a relationship. A lesson my mother taught me, which I plan to teach my kids, is that in life, you are going to have certain friends at certain times, which is okay!
When you were in kindergarten, you were probably friends with everyone. I remember stories from when I was a kid about how I had to hug everyone in my class before I left school. In this case, you may reflect a variation of personalities as you are only now learning right from wrong.
However, as we grow older, we get pickier with who we want to spend time with. For instance, we arguably have more friends than ever in middle school because our class body has probably tripled. This is when we start hearing the phrase, “Be careful who you spend your time with,” as there is much truth in the words that you are a reflection of your five closest friends. You begin to pick up on their traits, and they start picking up some of yours.
This brings me to the core of this article: having a friendship drift apart is okay and, in some cases, healthier. As I said before, it is unhealthy for any relationship to stay static. Therefore, paying attention to signs that you may be growing apart is important.
The idea that because a friendship ends it means it was never worth anything to begin with is not necessarily true. Maybe you were meant to grow apart. It is okay to have certain friends at certain times, and it is perfectly fine to acknowledge that you don’t quite get along with someone as well as you used to.
Moments like these help create space for new bonds with different people. Your personality can then change again to reflect others who may reflect your morals and values a little better.
All this is to say that having good intentions is important when making new friends in college. In college, you constantly grow and learn what it means to navigate adulthood. In my experience, the weight of life has gotten a bit heavier, and my schedule has become a bit busier; with that, I have to be more intentional with my time.
It is important to look for those with similar goals. This could be in the classes or organizations you are in and maybe strive to form bonds within. In college, you may have figured out what it is you want to do with your life but don’t brush past the importance of the quality of people in your life.