The Types of Roommates
Reflecting upon my first semester here at UCF, I have come to notice the reality of certain stereotypes I always joked about. Particularly with the roommates that I have, and the roommates that I have come across through the first few weeks. Merely a freshman, I am absolutely sure that this article will barely scrape the tip of the iceberg, but I feel that I must warn the public to steer clear of these types.
The Best Friend
I’ll start off positively for the luckiest people out there. This is for the people who applied to housing last minute, with no time to find a roommate, and pressed the dreaded “random” button. Somehow these are the people who end up finding their soul mates. They have the same sleeping schedules, same habits, same personalities. If this is you and your roommate, be grateful for what you have, because we’re about to dip into the darker realms.
The Night Owl
This roommate is the reason why all upperclassmen tell you to ask your potential roommate what time they go to sleep. For the love of everything, this is the most important question. The last thing you want, is to be trying to sleep at 3 a.m. and your drunk roommate comes stumbling in, turning on all the lights because they forgot that they could make it to their bed in the dark. However, this stereotype can go both ways, and you definitely do not want to be waking up at the crack of dawn because your roommate just has to workout. This roommate is 100% avoidable, do your research for your own sake, this is your warning.
The Freeloaders
Here’s to the roommates that don’t pay rent. They hangout in your living room, and in some cases, take over your bathroom. You don’t have to watch out for these, because if they bother you, you can just kick them to the curb. However, these are the roommates you want. They’re usually your best friends who just can’t bear to stay away from you for more than a day, and if you’re lucky, they’re the type to clean up your apartment because they feel guilty for not paying the rent.
The Quiet One
They may seem to quietly mind their own business, but always remember, silent but deadly. This roommate could either be the coolest person you’ll ever meet when they get comfortable with you, or the devil. There is no in between. My advice to you is to feel out their personality, and if you happen to come across any red flags, avoid them like the plague. Most of the time, you will not run into any problems, but if you do, I wish you the best of luck.
The Ghost
This roommate is the one you maybe saw on move in day, but you weren’t sure if you were dreaming because you haven’t seen them since. If you like your space then sure, this could be the roommate for you. But if not, this will start a very lonely homelife. This roommate could be the coolest person you’d ever meet, and you’ll never know, because they’re probably freeloading in somebody else’s dorm.
The Perpetually Sick
You will either have this roommate, or be this roommate. At least half of campus is sick on a regular basis and if you can escape it, you are amongst the lucky ones. You don’t have to avoid this roommate, but you do have to take copious vitamin c pills if you want to be their friend. Unfortunately, this roommate is mostly unavoidable and although it may not seem like it at times, you will likely survive.
The Stage 5 Clinger
Run. Run far far away from this roommate, freeload on someone’s couch, buy a separate apartment, transfer, because these roommates are crazy. Like, watch you while you sleep crazy. They will follow you to your every destination and never leave you alone again, and if they’re not cool, you absolutely have to get out of there. Maybe some people are into this, but if you ever want even a second of alone time ever again, you should stay far, far away.
The Vegan
Now, vegans and people who workout all the time are great people, no doubt in my mind. But, if you’re the type to stay up until obscure hours in the morning binge watching the entire Harry Potter series while inhaling your third bowl of ramen, this roommate is not for you. Unless of course, you want to watch your self esteem plummet into a black hole. The last thing you want to see while you throw yourself a one man pity party surrounded by four pounds of candy wrappers, is your healthy roommate who just got back from the gym with an organic protein shake.
The Mommy’s Girl
This is the mother of all roommates. Honestly, a stage 5 clinger is preferred. This roommate is the one whose mom has taken the load of housekeeping and cooking for the entirety of their life. This roommate doesn’t know how to cook without sprinkling food around the kitchen like fairy dust, and definitely doesn’t know how to clean it up. If you’re unlucky enough to catch one of these, there is no hope, RIP.
I hope that these stereotypes resonate with you and I wish you all the best of luck in finding better roommates next semester. But if not, at least the crazy ones make for better stories.