The rampant hate and violence against women have become more apparent as the years, months, and even weeks go by. It’s not just physical, but verbal violence too.
On Oct. 10, so-called comedian and podcaster Shane Gillis made a misogynistic comment on Saturday Night Live. In what is being referred to as a “joke” by the internet, Gillis said: “I haven’t been to the gym in so long I didn’t know women just dress like wh*res now. Look, I’m sorry, there’s no other way to describe—have you seen it? I’ve seen it. The shorts? Have you seen the shorts?” As long as Gillis continues to make comments about women like this, I think it’s best that he never goes back to the gym again. Or ever goes around a woman again.Â
What many people like Gillis fail, or don’t care to realize, is that a woman wearing shorts to the gym does not, in fact, make her a wh*re; it simply makes her a woman who has the freedom to wear whatever she wants. And she certainly shouldn’t have to face any consequences as a result of that.
Yet, time and time again, women are blamed for the violence that’s inflicted on them because of their attire when, really, it has nothing to do with that. In actuality, it has everything to do with the men who can’t regulate their emotions or control their violent actions toward women. At the end of the day, women should be allowed to wear shorts in peace at the gym without someone like Gillis commenting inappropriately on it.
Notably, outwardly misogynistic comments thrown at women aren’t the only form of verbal violence we have to worry about. The growing list of slang words used to describe intimacy is becoming a problem too.Â
To elaborate, “crack,” “smash,” “pound,” “bang,” “hit it,” “beat that,” and “break/blow her back out” are all slang words and phrases that convey an action, typically an aggressive or violent one. I would have to grow multiple extra hands just to count how many times I’ve heard this specific slang used by men to describe intimacy. While it’s not strictly limited to men, it is quite a common occurrence that I have personally witnessed.Â
Rather than regarding sex as a shared experience, many men seem to view it as an opportunity to establish dominance, which they believe can only be achieved through violence or some form of control over a woman. A clear example of this comes from a viral comment that rapper Offset left in reply to his ex-wife, rapper Cardi B, which reads: “…u will be calling me after couple months u my bm I won.”Â
This comment, which was posted in 2024 during the couple’s second split, not only reduces Cardi B to a mother (when she’s a talented Grammy-winning artist), but also deliberately suggests that Offset has a form of control over her because they share a child. Additionally, Offset claiming that he has “won” insinuates that he believes he is in competition with Cardi B. and, by winning, has successfully established dominance over her.Â
In my opinion, the normalization of misogynistic jokes, slang words, and phrases that represent intimacy is only causing more harm to women, especially when they’re being shared so widely and can easily be denied as misogynistic. I’ve already seen responses to Gillis’ “joke” that are along the lines of “humor is meant to be dark” and “you’re not empowered if you care about a stranger’s joke.” Yes, someone really said that.Â
Truthfully, this makes me worried about the younger generations of boys who may be influenced by the use of these slang words and, in turn, will start using them without fully comprehending what they mean. This would not only keep the cycle of misogyny going, but it would also expose boys to disrespect and violence against women at earlier stages in their lives.Â
More importantly, I am worried about us women, who have to constantly face scrutiny, listen to inappropriate “jokes,” and be reduced to objects, yet are still expected not to feel affected by it all. To put it plainly, our feelings have never been a joke to me.