Why do people date? We can start by defining the concept of “dating.” Urban Dictionary has it as “the early stages of a relationship where two people find out what each other is like, as a prelude to being a fully fledged couple.”
Basically, people date to get to know other people. Why? In the earlier years of life, when dating is still a new concept and experience, it is used as a fun little not-so-serious status enhancer. If you had a boyfriend in middle school, you were just the coolest. Once you grow older and more accustomed to the whole thing, it gets harder to ignore what the real reason behind dating actually is. Dating is a type of courtship. The end goal is unconditional love usually expressed in the form of lifelong companionship.
The problem then arises: how do we get from dating for the sake of dating to dating with an end goal of lifelong companionship? If x is equal to unconditional love then how do we find x?
I think the answer involves many factors, above all is developing the mindset that is required. It’s okay to date by trial and error. If you don’t like something, make moves to change it. If you can’t change it, move on. You do not have to stay in a relationship you know is not going to result in x. It’s a waste of time for you as well as the person you are dating. Anyway, there are roughly 4 billion men and 4 billion woman on this planet. Chances are you can find one that satisfies important criteria on your must have dating list.
Also, putting yourself out there and opening yourself to new people is something many people have trouble with. If dating is the process of getting to know someone, then get to know them and let them get to know you. Putting up walls to guard yourself with the fear of repeating past experiences does no good. Put your heart on your sleeve and wear it proudly.
Dating becomes more than just a pleasant thing to do on your free time as you mature. When your mindset switches from that to dating for the purpose of finding companionship, that’s when you can start finding x.