When I moved to New York City over the summer for an internship, everyone told me that going long-distance with my boyfriend was going to be difficult, even impossible. And while it wasn’t necessarily easy, I found it surprisingly more manageable than I had expected it to be. Maybe because it was only for a few months or because he was able to make several trips to visit me in the city. Or maybe it was because I was used to being long-distance.
This experience made me realize that some of my closest friends happen to be the furthest in distance, whether that be somewhere else in Florida or a different country.
If you know me, or if you’ve read past articles I’ve written for Her Campus, you probably know that I tend to write introspective pieces at the start of the academic year. This typically follows a period of self-discovery that took place over the summer, mainly relating to relationship experiences.
This time, it’s not about that. This summer taught me so much about myself and platonic relationships. Not only did I make several long-lasting friendships, but I also became even more grateful for my other friends — the ones who aren’t always by my side physically, but are always with me.
Rewinding a bit, my first notable experience with distance in college was difficult. One of my best friends, whom I had been close to since my freshman year of high school, had to transfer colleges midway through the fall semester of our sophomore year of college. We had moved to the University of Central Florida together, and even roomed together for our first year and a half. We were always together, so losing her was a tough transition.
I found myself in a similar situation a few months later with one of the first friends I made as a freshman in college. After our second year, she moved to Ireland to continue her studies at Trinity College Dublin. While I was so immensely happy for her and couldn’t imagine a more fitting opportunity, I had lost two of my closest friends, both within the same year. I felt the weight of that immensely, and it took me some time to learn how to navigate this new stage of our friendship.
I came to realize over time that the distance did not mean our relationship had to end. This was true whether the space between us stretched almost 100 miles or more than 4,000 miles to an entirely different country. And though our friendships look different now, and it is difficult at times, I’m so grateful for my connection to them.
But there had been times I had asked: Why did this have to happen? Why would I have the chance to make such meaningful connections if these people had to leave my life?
I think it took me until this summer to fully understand. While I was so excited about the opportunity, part of me was nervous to move to a city I had never lived in before. I was sad to leave my family, boyfriend, and my college friends. But as I moved across the country to chase a dream I felt like hardly anyone understood, I crossed paths with two people who fully did. The three of us grew together quickly, before our first week of training even ended, and I soon realized they were friends who would be in my life forever.
And we probably would not have met if we had not been selected for the same internship, since we were all from different states, went to different colleges, had different backgrounds. But we had so much in common. Experiences like this serve as a constant reminder that everything unfolds just as it is supposed to happen, and further my favorite philosophy that every connection has a purpose.
But with meaningful connection comes painful moments, as love is almost always accompanied by some sort of pain. Since we had gotten so close, at the end of the summer, I had to say goodbye to two of my now-closest friends, with whom I had only a very short time.
Not only this, but I also had to part with one of my best friends from college, who had just graduated in May and had moved to New York around the same time I did. We had been able to spend the summer together as well, both pushing off processing the notion that we, too, would soon be long-distance.
All in all, my long-distance friendships continue to teach me how important it is to value the time you have with those you love, and that relationships go beyond simply being near someone. The invisible string that ties us all together isn’t stretched thin by distance, and it will continue to follow us as long as we tend to our end.
Our paths may be meant to diverge, and we’re all supposed to go our own way at some point. That doesn’t mean our friendships are any less important or have to become a lesser part of our lives. And yes, the distance is hard. Sometimes, it’s really hard. But it’s worth it to make such meaningful friendships and have deep connections. So, if you have long-distance friends, take this as a sign to reach out, let them know you’re grateful for them, make some time to catch up, maybe send them a postcard.
It’s so special to have people you know in so many different places and to think about the difference they’re all making in their corner of the world. I’m so grateful for every one of my long-distance friends, and I love getting to watch the lives they’re making for themselves unfold and cheer them on — even if it’s from afar.