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Throughout life, there may be many instances where someone has ghosted you, ended a friendship, or even a relationship. After these situations happen, we often ask ourselves, “But why?” The “why” is the big question that a person contemplates after something ends. The harsh truth is that you will probably never get closure, and that’s okay. Based on my own experiences, I have learned to move on and accept that the outcome will be all I ever know. Overall, it is unhealthy to dwell on things for too long, as it can cause insecurities and anxiety. There’s a healthy way to overcome this cycle, and most importantly, how to move forward.
The root of closure comes from finding the final piece of the answers. According to “Banner Health“, even if one gains a form of closure, it won’t bring the peace and clarity one seeks. It can feel hopeful to fix maybe what was once lost, but in reality, this is just an unhealthy way to hold on.
One quote that I reflect on when dwelling on the past is Rafiki’s quote to Simba from The Lion King (1994).
Despite the situation you’re in and whether you hurt someone or the other person hurt you, lingering over the past can take a toll on your well-being and prevent you from moving on. Instead of focusing on closure, concentrate on growth and reflection to become a better person. There is wisdom and beauty in new beginnings, but as Rafiki states, “You can either run from it, or learn from it.” There can be hardships when it comes to moving on, but the most powerful decision is to respect and let go.
People change. This is something that is unavoidable and unexpected. Granting forgiveness, whether it still hurts, will lead to a peaceful outcome.
Based on my own experiences, here are a few pieces of advice that I would encourage:
First, practice journaling. Write down your thoughts and feelings. This is a great way to vent and release emotions that can bottle up over time.
Second, focus on the relationships you have. The most precious relationships are those that are always there for you. Even if your circle becomes smaller, it’s better to have good company rather than bad.
Third, learn to grow. For me, fostering resilience was the best decision I could make. It takes time, but through these experiences, you can start a new chapter of your life.
If you’re going through a breakup, actress Kate Hudson shared her thoughts on how she handles a breakup when a man ends a relationship, and it’s some of the best advice I’ve seen on the topic.
This is amazing advice by Hudson; it reminds you that real peace comes from accepting someone’s choice. After all, why be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you?
The main takeaway is not to wait for answers that may never come. It isn’t holding on so tightly to uncertainty that you feel struck. So stuck that you replay the same questions without moving forward. Instead, choosing to release what you can’t control allows you to redirect your energy toward your own well-being, goals, and peace of mind. In the end, the most mature decision is recognizing when it’s time to stop searching and start moving forward.