With the Super Bowl in the rearview, it’s time to shift focus to the next big play: Valentine’s Day.
Picking the right kind of flowers can be a daunting and overwhelming task, but don’t fret. Here’s a complete X’s and O’s breakdown of flowers in football terms to help you make the right call and keep you from scrambling at the last second.
- Touchdown – Mixed Bouquet (Josh Allen)
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A mixed bouquet is a full-package quarterback. Like Josh Allen, it’s versatile and exciting, never relying on just one skill. There’s something for everyone to love, making it a guaranteed way to score points this Valentine’s Day.
- Secret Weapon – Orchid (Puka Nacua)
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Orchids are sleek, stylish, and unexpectedly dominant, just like Puka Nacua bursting onto the scene. If you want to surprise her with a thoughtful, standout flower that isn’t played out, orchids are your No. 1 receiver this Valentine’s Day.
- Overrated – Red Roses (Jordan Love)
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Red roses are the classic, go-to option, but at this point, they’ve been played out – just like Jordan Love’s early career hype. Sure, they can be great, but overuse makes them feel predictable and safe, like an overrated quarterback.
- Mid – Daisy (Brock Purdy)
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Brock Purdy is an average, basic choice, similar to daisies. They’re charming and remind you of your youth, just like Purdy who still looks like a baby, but they’re not going to blow anyone away.
- Underrated – The Sunflower (Terry McLaurin)
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Sunflowers don’t always get the credit they deserve, but they bring energy, vibrance, and reliability just like Terry McLaurin. They stand tall, thrive in different conditions, and always brighten the room, making them a sleeper pick for Valentine’s Day.
- Fumble – Tulip (Jayden Reed)
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Tulips look promising, but they’re fragile, high-maintenance, and wilt fast. A fumble waiting to happen. You might think you made a solid choice, but by the time you realize it was a mistake, it’s too late. Just like Jayden Reed bobbling a crucial catch, tulips could let you down when it matters most.
- Hail Mary – Baby’s Breath (Jameis Winston)
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This one’s a wild card. It could be a great addition to a bouquet, or it could completely backfire if given alone. Just like Jameis Winston, you never know if you’re getting a miracle throw or a total disaster. High risk, high reward.
- Pick 6 – Carnation (Bo Nix)
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A big momentum swing in your favor. Carnations are classic, dependable, and always come through in the clutch, just like a pick-six that turns the game around. They’re versatile, and available in a ton of colors, making them a strong choice. Like Bo Nix, they’re long-lasting and could be a sneaky great play for Valentine’s Day.
- Audible – Chrysanthemum (Baker Mayfield)
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Chrysanthemums aren’t the first option, but they can work in the right situation. Like Baker Mayfield, they’ve been passed over, doubted, and moved around, yet they still manage to find their place. If your original plan falls through, chrysanthemums are a solid backup play.
- Turnover – Lavender (Jared Goff)
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Lavender smells nice but feels like something your grandma would love – not exactly a romantic choice. It’s the floral equivalent of Jared Goff’s stiff, grandpa-like quarterback style. If you want to avoid killing the mood, and ruining your season, skip the lavender and go for something with more firepower.
At the end of the day, picking the right flowers is just like calling the right play. You want something that’s thoughtful, effective, and won’t backfire. However, you also need it to be personalized to the situation, as some people might have a specific type of flower they like.
Whether you’re going for a safe bet like a mixed bouquet, a secret weapon like orchids, or an underrated star like sunflowers, the key is to put in the effort. Avoid the fumbles and turnovers (looking at you, tulips and lavender), and you’ll be set up for a Valentine’s Day win.