If you’re anything like me, you can see the way people react when you tell them you’ve never had a boyfriend before. It’s either the face of sympathy, judgment, or confusion (like having a boyfriend is the most important thing in life…as if.) Yes, I’ve had flings and yes, I’ve “talked” to guys before, but I’ve never had a long-term real relationship. There have been times when I felt almost embarrassed to admit this. I am so happy to say that those days are behind me, and I’m here to tell the girl who’s never had a boyfriend before either, why they should be behind you too:
It’s OK to be picky
I’ve been told by many of my friends, “If you’d stop being so picky you’d have a boyfriend.” Let me just tell you when it comes to someone’s character, being picky is a good thing. I have witnessed both healthy and unhealthy relationships, so it’s very clear to me exactly what I look for in a partner. I refuse to settle for anything less than I deserve just to have a boyfriend and neither should you!
There is nothing wrong with you
I am guilty of doing this as well. In the past, I have sold myself short and told myself that I was the problem. I looked around at many of my friends who were in long-term relationships and started to doubt if I was good enough. I am here to tell you the same thing I have learned to tell myself: you are not un-datable, you are not broken, and there is nothing wrong with you. You are smart, beautiful, strong, driven, and so not the problem here. Your only problem is timing, you just haven’t met the right guy at the right time yet!
You just haven’t found the right timing yet
Timing is everything. Maybe you’re busy, maybe a big event happens in life, maybe distance gets in the way. Either way, timing has a funny way of messing things up, but if you’re having to force a relationship to work…maybe the timing’s just not right. Everything will fall into place and workout when it’s supposed to, and I truly believe that. In the meantime, go to law school, become a CEO, or run for senator. You know, just usual girl boss things.
Let’s stop worrying so much about finding the right guy to date and just let life do its thing. Be as picky as you want and don’t settle for anything less than you deserve. Tell yourself how awesome you are daily (because you are) and stop comparing yourself to people in relationships. And be patient because your Nathan Scott, Jim Halpert, or Derek Shepherd is out there and you will meet him when you are supposed to. Your twenties are all about finding yourself and what makes you happy, so go out and do just that! Oh, and always remember you’re a strong, independent woman who don’t need no man!