It always starts the same way: a swipe, a quick smile in a profile picture, maybe a half-funny line about music taste. Match. A few texts, a late-night meetup, maybe something physical, and then silence. Ghosted. On to the next.
For many college students, this cycle feels like the new normal. Hookup culture was supposed to be empowering, freeing us from outdated relationship rules and letting us explore on our own terms. And for a while, it did — no one had to settle down too early or explain why they wanted something casual. But somewhere along the way, what started as freedom transformed into something that can only be described as unfulfilling.
Dating apps have made intimacy look more accessible than ever, but in practice, they’ve also made it more disposable. With endless profiles at your fingertips, like Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble, people can feel replaceable. That lack of attachment might protect us from disappointment, but it makes connections harder to find. UCF student, Ylonne Thompson, stated, “You never know if the person you’re with is already talking to five other people…so you don’t let yourself get attached.”
“You never know if the person you’re with is already talking to five other people…so you don’t let yourself get attached.”
Ylonne Thompson, UCF student.
And then there’s ghosting. Nobody likes to be on the receiving end, but it’s become the go-to way to end things, with no explanation needed. It’s efficient, sure, but it’s also training us to avoid being vulnerable. If every connection can end with a swipe, why invest your feelings in the first place?
Hookup culture can feel good in the moment, but students say the satisfaction doesn’t always last. What starts exciting can sometimes leave people feeling more drained than satisfied. Over time, the cycle of chasing short-term thrills becomes repetitive and exhausting. This, in turn, makes it harder to look for the kinds of deeper connections that last.
The result is a weird paradox: more hookups, less intimacy. Psychologists have warned that the cycle of quick flings followed by detachment can take a toll on mental health, fueling stress and disconnection. It’s not that casual sex is bad; it can be fulfilling when both people are on the same page. The problem is when detachment becomes the default, especially when admitting you want something more. Whether that’s a relationship, consistency, or just genuine care, the desire for more than surface interaction starts to feel riskier than hooking up with someone you’ll never see again.
Lately, though, you can feel the cracks in hookup culture. With loneliness and anxiety on the rise, more students are quietly stepping back from the apps, looking for something more real. Some are finding it in friendships or student organizations. Others are going old-school, choosing slow, in-person connections over quick matches. Even conversations about dating on campus reflect this shift: more people are willing to say out loud that, yes, they actually do want something deeper.
Hookup culture probably isn’t disappearing any time soon, but maybe that’s not the point. The point is that students are beginning to ask if this cycle of swipe, ghost, repeat is really what we want or if it’s just what we’ve been told to settle for. For a generation raised on the idea that independence means never being tied down, maybe the most radical move is admitting that we’re craving something lasting after all.