Forgiving Yourself Will Set You Free—Here’s What I Learned

As adolescents and young adults, we are constantly growing in new and different environments every single day. We lose and gain friendships, we separate from our families in order to pursue our education and accomplish our future goals, and we change as people through our personalities and interests. During this phase of our lives, it's the perfect timing in which we explore and discover ourselves including what we want out of our college experience, our career and our relationships with others.

For some individuals, this is considered an easy task, as those who are extroverted put themselves out there into the social scene. For others, it may prove more difficult than anticipated due to personal and/or social reasons. What some individuals may experience is the lack of not enjoying the present and what it has to offer. Certain young adults struggle with living and dwelling in the past to the point where it is nearly unhealthy to go about in everyday activities and life. There are three important points I would like to share with you all whenever you feel it’s impossible to move on.

  1. 1. Forgive and Love Yourself 

    We are emotional creatures by nature. Everybody makes mistakes—severe or minimal—throughout their life that they regret, from the time we were kids, then teens and even now as adults. It's a never-ending process of learning and growing, and that’s life. It's okay to remember what was at one time and accept the flaws of the circumstances, but it's never okay to obsess over it. Obsessing over something that can't be changed is dangerous territory not only for your overall mental, physical, emotional and social well-being but also for your outlook on the world and others around you.

    Forgiving yourself is proper self-care, as it destresses you and helps you realize that nobody’s perfect. Even though the truth may hurt another, it’s important to understand you are set free. You are able to let loose any guilt or feelings you once held and by doing so, make it easier to move on. You cannot love anyone before loving yourself. Loving yourself means valuing you as a person despite anybody’s opinion. Valuing yourself means you’re worthy of forgiveness and deserve to look towards a better and amazing future.

  2. 2. "The Fog of Worry"

    A close and trusted friend of mine presented to me the shared idea known as “The Fog of Worry.” This idea has long been presented to a wide audience. The reality of this simple concept comes down to realizing that only a very small percentage of what we think of, stress about, or worry over is likely to happen. Don’t take the burden of the past and weigh it on your present. There's so much happening around you and there are many things to occupy your time, and it's no longer worth the energy you put into analyzing something that happened long ago that no longer holds a significant meaning.

  3. 3. You Are Never Alone 

    Always keep a friendly reminder and tell yourself that you are yourself and you are never alone. You're not the only one who experiences the struggles of self-forgiveness or self-care. You are also not alone when you have a strong and closely-knit network full of family and friends who care about you and your well-being and who are forever there to support you in times of need, distress or comfort. Don’t be afraid to seek out help. If there’s a will, there’s a way.

Moving forward from both the good and bad experiences, use these thoughts to provide positive and reassuring comfort. Go put yourself out there and you do you. Do what’s best in your interest and what makes you happy, ignoring what others think or say. And if you fall down, don’t get discouraged and feel bad for yourself. Treat yourself with another new day filled with new people and new adventures.

Images: 1, 2, 3