Content Warning: This article mentions and shows visuals of skin boils.
I pull at my favorite skirt, expecting the usual chafe of my inner thighs. At first, it’s just that familiar, annoying friction on my “between-the-legs-acne.” Then it progresses: lumps, tender and irritated, pressing where they shouldn’t. Each step sends a jolt of sharp discomfort, impossible to ignore. I shift, tug, adjust, but nothing helps.
A wave of frustration hits me. Why does it hurt so much? Why won’t it go away? My skin feels like it’s betraying me, a constant reminder that something isn’t right, even when I try to pretend like it’s normal. Deep down, I know this isn’t just a quick, treatable problem or something I can ignore and cover up.
Unfortunately, the impact from what I thought was just acne went far beyond my wardrobe. Outfits were abandoned, plans were canceled, and the constant discomfort started to chip away at my confidence, well-being, and peace of mind.
When it wasn’t just acne
I first began experiencing symptoms of Hidradenitis Suppurativa (HS) in my early teenage years. While my friends were dealing with typical hormonal acne, what I was going through felt different and something I couldn’t explain. Yet, I convinced myself it was just hormonal and would eventually pass.
I did everything I thought I was supposed to, like investing in skincare and wearing longer clothing to minimize irritation. But the flare-ups kept returning. Some followed familiar hormonal patterns, but others were triggered by things I couldn’t control: heat, sweat, or even the simple act of going about my day.
As I got older, the reality became harder to ignore. These weren’t ordinary pimples; they were painful boils. However, what unsettled me most was how they began to spread, appearing in new areas and turning what once felt confusing into something overwhelming and persistent.
It almost felt like the algorithm found me at the right time. About two years ago, on TikTok, I came across a video about Hidradenitis Suppurativa. As I watched, parts of her experience looked familiar. I immediately turned to Google, scrolling through images and descriptions. Some matched what I was going through, but others felt overwhelming and frightening.
Not long after I came across those videos, I experienced one of my worst flare-ups. This time, it wasn’t in the usual areas; I had developed a painful boil on my breast. I felt deeply embarrassed. No one in my circle, none of my friends or the women in my family had ever experienced this. It made me feel even more alone, and I knew I couldn’t ignore it anymore. I needed answers.
I scheduled a gynecology appointment, not knowing what to expect. I still remember that visit vividly for two reasons. First, my doctor confirmed that I had HS. Second, in that appointment I felt an overwhelming low.
I was vulnerable in a way I had never been before, exposing parts of myself and a condition I had only dealt with in private. More than anything, it was the emotional weight that stayed with me. At the time, it felt like this condition had taken so much from me. I didn’t have answers, I didn’t know how to manage it, and I couldn’t imagine it ever going away. I didn’t feel comfortable in my own skin. I avoided certain clothes, constantly covering up, even in the Florida heat, and that alone was exhausting.
I remember apologizing over and over as my doctor examined me, even though this was her job. I felt gross and embarrassed to be in my own skin. She reassured me each time that it was okay, but in that moment, it was an emotional battle. It was hard, but it gave me the clarity that I needed to finally understand what HS really was and how it affects my body.
What is HS?
According to the U.S. Food and Drug Administration, HS, also known as acne inversa, is a “chronic skin condition that causes recurrent painful lumps deep in the skin.” The lumps can be either abscesses, acne, cysts, boils, ingrown hairs, or tunnels that leave scars. These lumps can appear anywhere on the body where skin touches skin.
The HS Foundation specifically states in the About HS section of its website that the skin condition is caused by the immune system generating too much inflammation.
“Your immune system is overactive and causing inflammation that has too many of the cells and proteins that usually fight infection. The immune system doesn’t shut off when it should, causing lesions that last for a long time or keep coming and going.”
The HS Foundation
Finding Clarity: Living With HS
Living with HS over the past two years has been a journey—one that’s challenged me, but ultimately brought me closer to understanding my body. Not every day feels good, and some days come with multiple flare-ups in different places, reminding me that this condition isn’t always predictable or easy.
Still, I’ve found progress. Even without medication, I’ve discovered ways to ease flare-ups and care for my skin, including methods that have helped reduce scarring. Some of those methods include applying baby powder before going out or before bed, researching what goes into my skin care and body care, balancing a well-rounded diet, and wearing less harsh materials. Those small, consistent efforts have added up and have made a real difference in how I feel day to day.
The biggest shift, though, has been in how I see myself. I no longer hide this part of my life or let it control my plans. I show up, I stay open, and I speak honestly about what I’m going through. In doing so, I’ve found a new level of confidence and freedom. This experience has made me more intentional about what I put into my body, how I care for my skin, and how I listen to my body when it needs rest or extra attention. Through this journey, I’ve become more in tune with myself than ever before.
However, I do want to emphasize that every case is different. What works for me may not work for someone else. This condition is based on the individual’s skin, making it subjective. It’s not predictable. It’s not gross. It’s skin.
If you think you might have HS, hormonal acne, or anything you’ve been hesitant to face, book the appointment and give yourself the clarity you deserve. It’s natural to feel afraid of confronting realities we didn’t choose, but even then, we still have the power to take control of how we respond and care for ourselves.
Avoiding it may feel easier in the moment, but understanding what’s really going on gives you the ability to move forward with intention. When it comes to your skin, real progress starts the moment you stop guessing and start showing up, one day at a time.