Hopeless romantics worldwide have suffered a significant hit while living in the 21st century — romance has deteriorated and chivalry seems dead. Flirting has become a borderline bore. One of the most significant notions in any romantic involvement is being added to a man’s “close friends” story.
Instagram, one of this generation’s most famous social media platforms, has become the backbone of modern-day dating. Close Friends is a feature that allows you to select specific people to view your story. It shows they have been added to it with a green circle around your profile picture when you post on your story.
Where’d the time go?
The 90s relied solely on meeting people in public and calling the landline to give and receive your goodnights. Today’s lovers have resorted to making the first move via direct message instead of asking in person, giving story likes instead of compliments, and adding their potential prospects into their Close Friends story instead of asking them out on dates. There is a specific belief that by adding a person of their interest into this private story, it is conveying to them that the interest goes beyond platonic. Yearning transpires that little green circle right into their heart because the posts are more personal and vulnerable. A look into the real them and not the fabricated social personality. Despite this mindset, it seems to not be very accurate and rather a minimal declaration of like.
Everywhere I Look, It’s There!
This action has even infiltrated the media most of us consume today. A prime example is music.
A famous Puerto Rican singer, Omar Courtz, in his feature on Bad Bunny’s song “VeLDÁ,” reads, “Toma, al otro día me pusiste en los close friends/Voy pa’l DM.” This translates to, “The other day you put me in the close friends, I’m going to the DM.” The song references following one another on Instagram and how that is taken as a notion of interest. Something deeply considered in today’s standards. If we look into what the song is regarding, it has a lot of lustful and sexual undertones. This caused me to question how romantic interaction via social media can assure us that the intentions are solely of good interest and not just done with ulterior motives in mind. The truth is that hiding behind a screen can make it harder to know someone, and trying to figure it out in general can be difficult.
The Other Side
I have spoken to some people who find interaction on social media highly important and valuable to them. They say that getting no interaction on Instagram can be detrimental to the relationship. They remain vigilant about it to ensure that their romantic partner or interest still has their eye on them. Some people are okay with having a less intense romantic pursuit. But, perhaps since I’m a hopeless romantic, I feel that this behavior has led to a lazier form of courting today.
My Take
How can something that takes less than five seconds be such a determining action of interest? Accessibility to social media affects how social interactions are conducted and their motivation to take risks regarding it. Perhaps more people are searching for casual relationships rather than long-term ones, but I feel that a particular effort should still be displayed. Not just a like on a post, but going to see the person, inviting them to do things, or saying hi when you walk by them on the street.
The new standards many people have adopted seem to have been lowered, which is wrong. If you dream of someone who goes above and beyond, you should be able to achieve that. Don’t settle for just a like or being added to the Close Friends. Stand firm and let them show you more classically just how much they want you.