Warning: This article contains graphic imagery that may be triggering.
Before reading this article, you should know I have read the book, but do not plan to watch the series.
6 years ago, I found 13 Reasons Why hidden in a shelf at Barnes and Noble and decided to give it a try. After reading it, I was incredibly moved and thought everybody else in the world needed to read it too.
A little less than 2 years ago, my best friend took his own life. I now have an understanding of suicide that I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy. After I lost him, my opinion on suicide and depression (and the book) was drastically altered.
13 Reasons Why does a decent job at making the general population get behind suicide prevention and awareness. The lucky people who have never seriously thought about suicide are now able to see an example of its unshakable effects. The series allows these viewers to see the way suicide takes the kindest and best people as its victims.
For people who do regularly think about suicide, 13 Reasons Why is infuriating. The show has romanticized suicide in unhealthy ways that only appeal to those who are blissfully unaware of what its like to be depressed or suicidal. Depression and suicide are not glamorous. If a show were ever made that accurately depicted these conditions, nobody would want to watch it. It is not entertaining to watch someone who cannot get out of bed because they do not have the energy to take on the world. So, in order to make sure the show had viewers, romance and drama were added to the story.
I understand the intention behind 13 reasons why. I understand that the producers wanted to reach a large audience, and did so by incorporating themes that appeal to a wide variety of viewers. I understand that the intention of the show was to tell people suicide is tragic and preventable. However, suicide is so much bigger than high school parties and teen romance. For someone to intentionally end their own life, it takes a lot more than 13 specific reasons.
This show also showed viewers how much everyone cares after someone’s death rather than before. All the antagonists are finally revealed to the world, and everyone realizes they should have been nicer. However, it does NOT take a hugely tragic event like suicide to make people come to these realizations. For people who are suicidal, I pray this show doesn’t convince them that their death is the only way to bring justice to the world.
If you’re wondering what really happens after someone commits suicide, Here’s a more accurate description…
When someone commits suicide in real life, their family doesn’t leave their house for days, or maybe weeks. All of their possessions stay perfectly in place, because nobody has the strength to move them. The mother who once scolded her child for hoarding cups in their room now vows to leave the cups there until she dies. Their dogs cry and wonder where they went. Their closest friends all blame themselves because they think of every chance they had to stop it. They think of the one night three weeks prior that they weren’t able to hang out, and wonder if they could have made a difference had they just said yes. They are forever plagued with the mental image of their lifeless friend. Their parents weep in each other’s arms and convince themselves that they have failed, Their entire community falls silent, wondering how something like that could have happened to someone who brought such wonderful things to the world. Grief counselors and support groups emerge for people who are struggling. Friends and family take years to return to normal; or as normal as they can be. For the rest of their lives, they remember the wonderful human they got to know, and yearn for them to come back.
There is no justice; there is only tragedy.
13 Reasons Why was not made for anyone who is currently struggling with depression or having suicidal thoughts. Rather, it is made to introduce people to the idea of suicide prevention in a way that is societally accepted. The show is incredibly triggering for those who do have depressive tendencies, and breaks some of the cardinal rules of suicide prevention (such as showing Hannah’s death).
While I appreciate the efforts and intentions behind 13 Reasons Why, I think we can do better as a society. Thankfully, 13 Reasons Why has started the conversation about suicide. Now we need to be courageous enough to continue it.
If you would like to join the fight against suicide, there are many other ways to do it. The most important thing to do is educate yourself about the signs and signals of suicide. There are many websites and foundations that provide lots of helpful information about the cause, such as the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP). Preventing suicide requires more than professing your love to your high school crush, or watching a show and posting about it on social media. To learn more about effective ways to help prevent suicide, visit www.afsp.org.
If you are battling depression or having suicidal thoughts, you can call 1-800- 273-8255 at all hours of the day. There is always someone who will listen, and there is always someone who cares.