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Womxn On Top: Reclaiming Sex

This piece is for any and all womxn who choose to engage in sex of any kind.

A shocking discovery was brought to light during comedian, Liza Treyger’s The Half Hour performance for Comedy Central back in the August 2015: Sex is for women.

If that wasn’t earth-shattering enough, Liza even went so far as to call out the sex education she received in middle school that taught female students the classic “rose” analogy:

And for her grand finale, Liza enlightened audiences to her very own philosophy about sex (and nailed it):

It’s far too often that women are regarded as vessels for people to carry out sex upon. In our society, women are conditioned from childhood to put other people’s needs before their own. That mindset, paired with the conventional role of servitude implemented on women, makes for one hell of an unsatisfactory sex life.

For instance, there’s a familiar scene in mainstream media that we see time and time again, consisting of a heterosexual married couple that emanates how ingrained male-pleasure favoring sex is in our society. It’s best illustrated by award-winning comedian Amy Schumer here:

This trope normalizes the dismissal of what women want in regards to pleasing her partner, and perpetuates the destructive message of women being used as objects for sex.

Amy didn’t stop there in terms of using comedy as a tool to address gender inequality. In another bit, she goes on to discuss the shaming involved with being a female that openly likes having sex.

We live in a world where female sexual desire is ignored and sex-ed is too busy demonizing sex to teach us how to enjoy it for ourselves.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with having a high regard for your partner’s needs. In fact, that’s a wonderful thing to have. The problem only arises when the high regard for your significant other’s need isn't reciprocated, and you’re left underwhelmed by sex.

You should never feel underwhelmed, uncomfortable or unsatisfied by sex. Ever. And you should always want to have the sex you’re having. Communicate your needs, and don’t feel guilty asking for more or less. Get what you need out of sex, even if it takes a while. Claim your orgasm!

Sex, in its truest form, should be whatever you and your partner want it to be. Having an open dialogue is the key to achieving sex you’re both excited to have. Enthusiastic consent should be the one and only standard. What is most important is that we, as womxn, live the lives we want.

Reclaim sex, ladies — it’s rightfully yours.

Ariel Robbins is a third-year Technocultural Studies major with a minor in Professional Writing at UC Davis. Her dreams consist of attending graduate school for screenwriting or visual journalism, and one day taking a picture with Steve Buscemi. If you see her, you can almost always assume she is wearing Marc New York Performance leggings from Costco and aggressively craving Limeade from Trader Joes. Contact her at ajrobbins@ucdavis.edu
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