A couple years ago, if you told me I’d become an introvert I would have laughed in your face. I don’t think a single moment of my middle-school experience was ever alone. I felt like if I was alone I wasn’t enough. This obviously was not true. In fact I was ignoring what was really going on. I was incredibly depressed, anxious, and abrasive. I never thought of anyone other than myself. Not in a I care about myself and want to be better but in a selfish: I don’t care for anyone other than myself kind of way. This was not healthy at all. And trust me when I tell you, karma hit me right in the face and changed everything.
I spent the majority of my high school journey in and out of friendships. In and out of unhealthy relationships and in and out of ‘like’ within myself. I say ‘like’ because I didn’t learn to love anything about myself until I was in my senior year of high school. This was because I learned to be alone.
Being alone doesn’t mean having no friends or never going out; it simply means not relying on people to bring you excitement or joy on an everyday basis. The times I’ve spent alone have not always been delightful, however, have shown me the strength and courage I possess as a person.
I preface this to say no matter how devoted you are to the outer circles parading your life, you should take the time to evaluate the impacts they bring into your life, your happiness, and most importantly, your truest self.
Taking time for yourself is also not as hard as it seems, it does not have to manifest in working out 6 days a week, or reading self help books for hours. It can simply be taking a breath before heading to bed or making your favorite drink in the morning. These small actions can take your day from stressing yourself to death, to being a small bump in the road.
As stated before, a small action can take a day from nay to yay! However that’s not all, it never really is. Whenever you take these moments alone it’s good to think of all the things you love, all of your goals, the aspirations you keep in a back closet, locked away. Even in a moment of peace, self reflection can allow us to grow exponentially.
Why is this important? It’s important because so easily through our days we forget who we truly are to our core. When I think back to my truest days I realize how much I enjoy the nature around me, how much I love writing and doodling, how much I enjoy dancing and reading. I realize that, although I have repressed much of my personality to my core, I am extroverted and love being silly. I’ve lost much of who I am as much as we all have, however, that’s why being alone and looking to find who we truly are is so important. Because without it, we might never find who we are inside.