Whether with a significant other or a friend, we all get stuck in toxic relationships sometimes. It can be hard to notice just how unhealthy a relationship is when you are in the middle of it, especially since we tend to oversimplify toxic relationships, believing that a truly unhealthy relationship has a perpetrator and a victim.
In reality, it’s rarely that straight forward. Sometimes, two good and kind people can get into unhealthy cycles that cause them to hurt one another. It’s essential to break these cycle, and as harsh as it may seem, sometimes it’s better for you and the other person to cut them out of your life. If you have a relationship in your life that you think might be unhealthy, here are some signs to help you decide whether it is time to go your separate ways.
1. You find yourself often lying to them.
Maybe you think that telling them truths about your life or theirs will hurt them. Every once in a while, this is true. There’s no need to be heartlessly blunt about something that could be said more subtly. However, lying to someone all the time doesn’t do them any services. If you aren’t willing to be a truthful friend to them, what’s the point of being friends at all?
2. They often lie to you.
This seems straight forward. You don’t need to waste your time with someone who is constantly deceitful. It can make you feel crazy to constantly be lied to, and as much as you may care for the person, this is emotionally manipulative and draining for both parties.
3. You find yourself regularly making excuses.
It doesn’t really matter whether you are constantly making excuses to justify how you are treating someone or if you’re constantly trying to make excuses to justify someone’s poor treatment of you. Either way, that isn’t healthy. If two people are communicating honestly with each other and themselves, you don’t need excuses.
4. One person is putting way more into your relationship.
If you’re the person putting in way more time and energy and getting little reciprocity, please stop. There are so many people in the world who would want to put in the effort for you. Don’t waste your time on the people who don’t. Conversely, if there is someone in your life who is putting in way more than you are, don’t string them along.
5. Interactions become obligations.
If you don’t actually enjoy spending time with someone, they probably aren’t your friend. I know, sometimes we feel obligated to people in our life, but really, life is too short for that.
6. You expect the worst of them.
If you always expect your friend or partner to act in the worst way, it often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you find yourself often doubting someone in this way, it’s probably because…
7. You don’t respect them or they don’t respect you.
No healthy relationship exists without respect. Take care of yourself and be real with the people in your life. Toxic relationships are toxic to all parties involved and you will both be in a better place once you cut it off.
Cover photo by Pixabay