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Experiences

What It’s Like to Lose a Best Friend

I have always heard the saying “people come and go in your life”, and I have always thought those people would just be elementary school classmates, camp friends and work acquaintances. Over the years, I have had a fair share of people who have left my life but none were important nor close to me, therefore I have learned to accept and let go of these people who left. But I never thought I would lose my best friend, until two years ago.

I have known my best friend since we were nine years old. We first met when our elementary school teacher assigned us to sit next to each other. Talking about Justin Bieber and YouTube videos, we became best friends since then and for nine years straight. As we grew up, we became closer and shared a deeper bond. She knew every one of my family members, joined in every family dinner and was practically a part of the family. Even after I moved to another country, we were still joined by the hip every summer and would go everywhere together. Whether I have happy or sad news, she was always the first one I told. Together we made many unforgettable memories, went through countless ups and downs and had each other’s backs no matter what. She was my best friend through thick and thin, and I couldn’t have imagined my life without her.


woman using binoculars at Golden Gate Highlands National Park, South Africa
Photo by Pawel Janiak from Unsplash

Fast forward to freshman year of college, we both were studying at different schools in different countries, but it never concerned me that our friendship would change. In the beginning, we would still occasionally text each other and briefly talk about this new chapter of our lives. In addition to the time difference, we both were busy balancing schoolwork and social life. Days and months have gone by, we became more and more distant. We no longer texted or called each other every day, nor commented on each other’s Instagram posts anymore. I tried to reach out to talk to her more often, however she seemed so busy and happy with her new friends, it didn’t seem like she needed me anymore. Slowly, we became strangers.

For the longest time, I tried to accept the fact that we weren’t close anymore; I would tell myself that people change and that I need to learn to let her go, but I still can’t help but feel miserable without my best friend. Finally, I have told her how I felt and how much I missed her. After two years of feeling like I have lost her, it felt like a weight being lifted off my chest. Reminiscing on old times, we talked about how we both felt the same way and how we should’ve given more time to each other to maintain our friendship. It was definitely a good feeling to know that my best friend still needs and cares about me.


Two Person Jumping in Silhouette Photography
Jill Wellington/Pexels

Losing a friend sucks, but it hurts even more when it’s your best friend. As we grow up and become busy with our own lives, it is only normal that friends become less close and more distant. It is not easy seeing your best friend slowly become a stranger, but I realized that the memories that we made together have never left me and will always be in my heart. Although we started talking again, I sometimes feel like we can never be as close as we once were. This really taught me to treasure each and every moment I have with the people I love, since you never know where life takes you. It is a shame that I couldn’t share my life with her now, we didn’t get to experience college together, be there for each other when we experienced heartbreaks or even celebrated our milestones. But none of that matters anymore, all I know is that I still have her back, and she still has mine. No matter where we are, how old we become, or how busy we get, she is still my best friend at heart. I know that I will always have love and respect for her and I wish nothing but the best for her.

Iris Au

UCD '22

Iris is studying Communications and Economics at the University of California, Davis. She is currently a junior and is a big fan of cheesy rom-coms and cooking shows. She hopes to pursue a future career in publishing or marketing after graduating college.
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