Freshman year was my year of growth, as well as a time for all freshmen to expand their boundaries. Successes, failures, and all else in between were suddenly weighed by a standard of independence I hadn’t adjusted to quite yet. The exposure to all these new experiences felt more like a bombardment of emotions rather than a gradual adjustment. Fall quarter in particular had some rough patches; the quarter in its entirety was incredible, with the new friends I made through my dorm and sorority accompanying me during those first 10 weeks. However, I had the nagging feeling that I was behind everyone, always needing to catch up — catch up in my academics, my dating life, exercise, and everything else I felt I was lacking. Everyone around me seemed like they had everything together, so why didn’t I feel as stable as they looked?
The need for stability is what I later realized was one source of my stress. I believed that in order to conquer freshman year like a champ, I had to feel stable and have as minimal stress as possible. I thought I should have been able to balance my academics with dating, sleep, exercise, and social life without a problem, just as everyone else around me had seemingly accomplished with ease. This struggle I internalized made me feel isolated at times, and contributed to my nagging feeling of emptiness.
The simple truth I wish I got into my head earlier is that no one is as stable as they look. To have a perfected routine by the end of your first quarter in college is a rarity. And another simple truth follows that first truth: that’s okay. College isn’t meant to be a perfectly coordinated balancing act, and you shouldn’t expect your first quarter to be, either.
Winter and spring quarters were entirely different, positive experiences. I was at peace with not receiving A’s on all of my assignments, since I knew it was all about how I would implement what I learned to my future, not what I got on one test. I didn’t feel the need to have a solid romantic relationship just because my friends coupled up, despite feeling this pressure originally. It’s about being open to experiences and meeting people along the way of your own journey (although cute glasses guy working in the CoHo… hmu if you read this).
Dear incoming Aggies, or any other freshman or transfers: don’t be so hard on yourself. Your first quarter at Davis is like riding a bicycle (as a true Aggie does); you won’t be able to find your balance unless you keep pedaling. Take it slow, and enjoy the ride.