I went home during Presidents/Valentine’s Day weekend to visit my partner and family. I always notice the little things that have changed in my parents’ house since my last visit, like new pictures my mom hung up or rearranged furniture. During this most recent visit, I noticed that my mom has developed a real affection for our old home movies. No matter who was home or what time of day it was, she was always eager to sit us down and put on an old, grainy video of my brother and I from 2008.
In all honesty, watching these videos of my brother and I, hanging off of my dad’s arms like little monkeys and playing at the park, makes me oddly uncomfortable. My mind can’t seem to reconcile that the little blond kid in those videos is a distant version of me. It feels like I’m watching someone else’s kid entirely.
I think looking back at past versions of myself in general makes me uncomfortable. I think it always has. I seem to turn into a newer version of myself every now and then, and when I look back at all the “old me’s,” I tense up in embarrassment. Then, when I’m not looking, I become a completely different person who’s cringing at the “me” who was so busy rolling their eyes at the “old me’s.”
Keeping a journal makes tracking that sort of thing easy. I often flip through old pages, facing the mistakes and wrong turns I made without the gift of hindsight. In this weird form of time travel, I always pause when I get to the entry titled “Twenty-One Things I Learned Before Turning Twenty-One,” a list I made for myself on my twenty-first birthday last December. This is one of the few pages from my past that doesn’t make me sour up in self-aware discomfort. Rather, it makes me feel content because it reminds me that mistakes of the past are little lessons about yourself and your life lying dormant beneath the rocky surface, like buried treasure that rewards you for your journey onward.
With that, here’s my personal list of twenty-one things I learned before I turned twenty-one.
- Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.
Divvy up the things you value and you’ll soon find joy all around you.
- Stop assuming things/convincing yourself of things you don’t know for certain are true.
Be logical, be secure.
- To write, you must read.
This remains true even if you aren’t a reader or writer. To put anything of value out into the world, you must consume things of value first.
- Being able to apologize and own up to mistakes earnestly is rare.
Rarer than you might imagine. Be rare when you get the chance.
- Never be afraid to sing and dance.
It makes life easier!
- Gender isn’t real.
Enough said.
- Things are only what you make of them; perspective is everything.
Little did I know I would write my first HerCampus article on this one.
- Trust your gut.
If you’ve got a bad feeling, you’ve got a bad feeling. Honor yourself in your intuition.
- Talk to strangers.
I contradict myself here, because I actually believe there is no such thing as a stranger, but you get the point.
- You miss all of the shots you don’t take.
Take risks and let yourself miss.
- The right choice is usually the harder one.
Take the road less traveled.
- Starting is the hardest thing. The rest is easy.
Much like this article, which I humbly asked for two extensions on, and then completed in one day.
- People’s opinions of you are important, but they don’t control you. Just be you.
Don’t be limited by what others say. If it doesn’t inspire you or encourage you to be better, let it go.
- Always keep a journal.
In all honesty, this is the most important one to me. Without my journal, my head might’ve exploded by now.
- Take opportunities when they show up.
Even the ones you don’t think will work out.
- Go on side quests.
Boost morale!
- Always share your weed.
Substitute this rule to your liking.
- Wish your opps well.
Even if they don’t do the same.
- Take care of people when you get the chance.
Especially when you can’t take care of yourself.
- BRUSH YOUR TEETH.
Save yourself from the dentist’s wrath.
- Your family is everything. Be good to them.
Whatever family might mean to you, just be good to them.
- (+1 for good luck) Don’t take life too seriously!
I’m a liar; it’s a list of twenty-two things. Sometimes it’s okay to break the rules.
It’s hard to grasp that the kid in those home videos that my mom is so fond of is the same person who lived to learn each of these things in various ways, shapes, and forms. I’m sure by December, when I’m twenty-two, I’ll have a brand-new set of lessons that I learned in the months I haven’t encountered yet. Until then, I’ll continue to get by, with hopefully less contempt for my older selves and more appreciation for those old home movies.