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The Mother-Daughter Relationship Between Me and My Mom Throughout the Years

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The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UCD chapter.

Child me and my mom 

mom and daughter - pinata
Nancy Aviña

As a child, my mom was my superhero. The person I would run to crying if something went wrong or if I got hurt. I knew that she had the superpower of healing all my pain and wiping all my tears. Little me knew that I could count on my mom for anything. She would always give me that push, without me realizing it in the moment, to make sure I was brave enough to one day be independent. 

Teenage me and my mom

Eventually, that relationship changed a little when I became a teenager. I was born in India to an Indian family. However, I grew up in an Indian household in a Latin country, Costa Rica. It was hard for my mom and I to come to a balance point where I could be a part of the fast moving Latino culture and my mom was still comfortable with her Indian beliefs. 

“YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND!!!!” 15 year old me screams at my mom after she refuses to let me go to a party that I just need to go to. My teenage years consisted of me trying to convince my mom of parties, dates, sleepovers, random hangouts with people I didn’t even know, among others. I would always think that what my friends did or said was right. My mom, on the other hand, always knew. She would tell me that a random boy is not worth my attention and time, that this one friend is not a good friend, that being peer-pressured is not a good thing, that these “friends” (who are actually friends of friends) don’t really care about me, and that not going to this one party won’t be the end. At the time, I hated that she was telling me what to do and asking so many questions. I detested that she wouldn’t let me be independent and figure it out on my own. In all her efforts to protect me, all I saw was her trying to ruin my reputation and all I heard was the word “NO.” Turns out, she was actually right about all of it. Those “friends” were actually bad friends and did not care about me, those boys were in fact just boys, and missing out on a few parties was not a big deal. I am glad she didn’t give me full independence back then, because I was clearly not ready for it. 

College student me and my mom 

As I started college in a new country and without any family, I realized the huge role my mom plays in my life. The distance was unbearable at times. Through technology as the biggest tool of communication, I understood that she was never just my caregiver. She had always been my best friend. I started to appreciate the one who genuinely cared and gave me unconditional love. She has always been and continues to be my biggest supporter and cheerleader in life. She also became my role model. I hope I am as selfless, loving, strong, caring, and nurturing as her one day. I try everyday to carry the same sunlight she carries. 

My mom and my adult self 

I realize now, one month into twenty years old, that my mom still holds the same image she did for me when I was a child, a superhero. I recognize that everything has shifted. I now ask her to tell me what to do, I look for her advice when I am the one who doesn’t understand, and I ask her the questions. I don’t want that full independence ever because I want her to always be there. I call her at least twice a day, and every break I run to go back home to her. I came to the awareness that the person who brought me into this world has always been my other half. It’s funny that adult me is exactly the same as child me. I run to my phone to call her to cure my sadness and I never make a decision without her advice. It makes me happy knowing that she is still my superhero.

Hi everyone! My name is Raaina Gulati. I am an international student from Costa Rica who is double majoring in psychology and economics, with a tech management minor. I love playing sports, trying new things, spending time with my family and friends, and watching sunsets!