“Rejection is redirection”. This is a phrase that I’ve consistently been met with as I’ve grown up and endured new forms of failure. I can honestly say that I have failed hundreds of times in my life. I’ve had the pleasure of seeing my academic endeavors, romantic pursuits, potential friendships, and familial relationships blow up in my face from time to time. Some failures sting more than others and tend to weigh on my soul for longer than I should allow them to. In the past, I would be overtaken by utter frustration and resentment when someone would respond to my admission of failure with “rejection is redirection”. Yet, sitting here writing this article, I am so happy that failure has played a role in my progression as a human being and am eager to see what my next rejection in life will entail.
I should clarify my statement regarding my eagerness to fail by stating that like almost every other human being: I don’t enjoy feeling defeated, helpless, or frustrated. Failure is not always our fault, as hardships sometimes just happen. However, most of my failures have come about through an accumulation of various factors and have pushed me to confront how I am sometimes the problem. Admitting that I played a role in my own demise is about 90% of my mental turmoil. What follows consists of forgiving and accepting myself, reflecting on what I could have done better, and actively taking action to ensure I don’t make the same mistakes again. I previously mentioned that my failures have weighed heavily on my soul. Yet, sometimes this weight is needed. That’s not to say I should torture myself and relive every moment of my life that has gone seemingly terrible, but I should remember my naivety and pursue new endeavors with sophistication. Failure brings wisdom. There are certain lessons of life that I would have never been able to learn if not for the experience of failure.
The word “No” holds so much power. I used to interpret rejection, in all its forms, as a personalized vendetta from the world to me. Yet now, I take everything in life as it comes to me. This means trusting that there is a bigger picture, a master plan, or some grand lesson that is waiting for me at the end of each of my failures. Unfortunately, there are often systematic arrangements ingrained in our society that are designed for people to fail. Fortunately, that doesn’t stop us from trying anyways. I can only blame myself for tangible incompetence and genuine idiocy and have learned to stop blaming myself for approaching situations with my entire heart rather than remaining closed off and cautious. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that just because someone or something temporarily puts out your fire, doesn’t mean it won’t burn again. A person is not defined by their failures, but rather by their response and recovery from their failures
Rejection and failure are inevitable experiences of the human condition and no one is exempt. I find comfort in this. During times of defeat, frustration, and struggle I am able to remind myself that this is a defining feature of being a human being and everyone has felt this. We are never alone in our seemingly lonely experiences and can always find a way to beautifully evolve while we progress through life.