I recently was reading the article “Seriously, Why Are Women Expected to Smile All the Time?” by Amy Dorsey in which she said “I am not a 24/7 ray of sunshine. So why do people want me to pretend that I am?” and it really resonated with me. Growing up I’ve always noticed how many expectations there are for women.
We are always expected to smile, be warm, sit still, and look pretty. We are supposed to express ourselves in a certain “feminine” style and behave in a certain way. You can certainly work out in a gym, but you cannot appear strong or macho. Oh, you can work, but you can’t be a CEO or an engineer — they are jobs for men. You may excel in certain things, but you will never surpass a guy. Women should be thin yet curvy, intellectual but obedient, attractive but not bothered with appearance, well-dressed but not take a lot of time to get ready, and virginal but experienced at the same time.
One of my favorite quotes from the show Little Women is “Women, they have minds, and they have souls, as well as just hearts. And they’ve got ambition, and they’ve got talent, as well as just beauty. I’m so sick of people saying that love is all a woman is fit for.” Women are truly more than just appearance and our life doesn’t just revolve around us finding love and building a family. Of course, falling and love and building a family is important to many and nice but that is not all a woman is fit for in life. We have so much potential and it’s important for society to realize that. What’s nice now is that women are more empowered and they have started to prioritize their careers. Young women are informed as they grow up that society holds us behind and oppresses us because of our gender. Because the world is apparently against us, having a good profession is said to be the toughest thing we will ever do. Therefore, our ability to succeed professionally is the true mark of feminine virtue.
It is you who is setting these irrational expectations and blaming it on guys if you look into the mirror every morning and critique how imperfect your body is. Women seem to talk a lot about slut shaming, virgin shaming, and having unrealistic standards for our bodies. When someone tries to instruct us on how to conduct our lives or how to be human, we become outraged. We are always resisting the pull to revert to these predetermined ideals of what constitutes an acceptable woman. Whatever the source of the expectations, women should realize they have the strength to resist being swayed by them. The choice of who she wants to be, what she wants to accomplish, and how she wants to do it is up to every woman. So be it if a woman wishes to excel over a man. If not, it’s alright too.