Many of us out there are grieved by the most recent election results. Everyone has different ways of reacting to the news and its depiction of results, so our thoughts and feelings can be very difficult to communicate.
Regardless of who you support, your feelings are valid. If you are feeling shaken by the results or unsafe for any reason, I would highly recommend seeing a counselor.
I was personally traumatized by this whole affair, and decided to attend an election processing space held on our campus. While I was able to talk through what I was feeling at the time, I also learned some things that can help me communicate better in future discussions surrounding this issue.
You have the option to choose individual counseling or group counseling, and there are benefits to both. I personally chose to process my emotions in a group in order to hear other perspectives. This group in particular was for a general campus population. I recognize that some of these points may not apply in a counseling group led for a specific community. I only wanted to share my experience and ask others to think more about getting help and support.
Here are a few pieces of information I want people to know based on my experience:
1. Post-election stress and trauma is real.
When I first described my reaction to the results as a form of trauma, I thought that I was trivializing the experiences of individuals who have gone through serious forms of emotional trauma. It turns out that trauma is exactly what I was experiencing.
There’s no such thing as “overreacting” in this case. A lot of us are afraid for ourselves, for friends and family, and for the nation as a whole. There’s a lot at stake here, and your emotions will be validated in this space.
2. There might be a bunch of personal stories being shared.
You might not be the only one in this group since this counseling space is open to the campus population. You will be asked to share what you are going through, and you will be asked to listen to others share their thoughts and feelings. Be an active listener, do not interrupt the person speaking, and provide your feedback if asked to. This is not the place to debate the validity of someone else’s experiences.
Respect the privacy of everyone who has, like you, decided to use the group as a safe space. Keep the details of anything you hear to yourself. The emotions of others are not to be shared unless you are given explicit consent.
3. You might react emotionally to others and their stories.
Whether you agree or disagree, the nature of some anecdotes will compel you to respond emotionally. These emotional responses matter especially when they are expressed. Your reaction affects other people. During my experience in the group, I was moved to tears at several points out of both anxiety and inspiration. This was definitely noticed by others in the room and it guided some of the conversation. You will be asked to articulate your emotions, work through them, and even try to see outside of them.
You will be asked to step outside of your comfort zone to see a position that is not familiar to you regardless of why you are using the space.
4. Even if someone does not agree with you, listen to them.
I know this is difficult. Believe me. Just because we live in California, that doesn’t mean that everyone shares the same liberal ideas. As mentioned above, this is not the time to debate with other group members. Refrain entirely from ad hominem attacks. You are still allowed to express yourself without insulting another human being.
5. If you feel uncomfortable, do what you feel is best to ensure your safety.
Leave the room if you have to at any point in time. Or let a counselor know you are feeling unsafe because you have the freedom to process this in the group.
If you do not think that the space is helping you, protect yourself.