Picture this: It’s 8pm on a Friday and your friends are finishing up their makeup in preparation for a fun night out. Whether it’s going to dinner downtown or going out for drinks (if you’re 21+, of course), it sounds like a fun night awaits. The only problem is—you can’t go because you have an important assignment due. While you spend the rest of your night studying, you find yourself checking your friends’ Instagram stories wondering what you’re missing out on. We’ve all experienced FOMO, or the Fear of Missing Out, at least once in our lives. However, we don’t need to let it ruin our nights.
The first step to overcoming FOMO is figuring out why you’re staying in. Do you have an essay due that you just kept putting off till the last minute, are you feeling extra tired after a long day of lectures, or are you just feeling like you need a night to yourself? Understanding why you’re staying in is important because it will give you insight into what you can do to avoid FOMO. If you’re staying in to work on an important assignment, this just means that you should block more time out during the week to work so that you can take a day or two off over the weekend to have fun and destress with friends. If you’re staying in because you had a long day or week and just need a night to yourself, you shouldn’t feel guilty about this! The quarter system is fast paced and can be overwhelming, especially during winter quarter, so you should give yourself grace and realize that a few nights in is crucial to staying sane and taking care of yourself.
Secondly, you need to give yourself a reality check. One of the biggest reasons we feel FOMO is due to social media. It gives us a window into other people’s lives, making it the place where we can instantly see all the cool things we’re missing out on. But, remember, people only post their best moments on social media, so whatever you’re seeing is the carefully curated highlight of their night. You should also ask yourself if you’re really missing out on the activity or if you’re missing out on the idea of fun. For example, you might think you’re bummed to miss out on a round of mini golf with your friends, but in reality, you don’t even enjoy mini golf all that much. What you’re really worried about is missing out on fun moments that might happen when you’re not there. It’s okay to wonder what you might miss if you’re not around, but you should remind yourself that reality and social media aren’t always the same.
The last and most important step to overcoming FOMO is finding acceptance. It sounds harsh, but going out every single weekend or hanging with friends at every opportunity is kind of unrealistic in college. Sure, I bet some people are expert time managers and are able to make this work, but the vast majority of us students are going to have a hard time balancing school, extracurriculars, internships, working out, a job, and a social life. Now, I’m not saying you should never do anything fun, but rather that you need to accept that there will be days you’ll have to miss out on fun plans. Instead of wallowing in your FOMO or beating yourself up, you should recognize that there will be days where finishing up an important assignment is more important than hanging with friends. Or, if you’re feeling extra run down and just need a chill night in, remind yourself that you’re in college for four years, which means there are many more weekends left to have fun.