I started wearing makeup in the sixth grade. It made me feel pretty, more feminine, and mature. Despite the ridiculous amount of time I spent watching makeup tutorials on Instagram, I generally stuck with under-eye concealer, mascara, and a tinted lip balm. Yet even though my routine was simple, a few years ago I found myself feeling like I had to do it every day without fail. If I didn’t, I felt like I couldn’t leave the house. I didn’t feel presentable.
As I noticed my reliance on makeup, it started to bother me. Why did I feel like I needed mascara? Then, on one particular “running-late” day, I just didn’t have time for my little routine. I felt self-conscious the entire time, yet no one noticed my mascara-less eyelashes or my dark under-eye circles. If they did, they didn’t say anything. Consequently, I decided to take a break from makeup.
Now I still don’t wear makeup very often, but it’s more out of laziness than anything else. What’s important to me is that previously, I wouldn’t have felt comfortable going without mascara no matter how lazy I felt. The feeling of freedom that came with the breaking down of my attachment to makeup was essential to my personal growth and is something I am grateful for on a daily basis.
The experience helped me realize that I want makeup to be something that I do for myself, not because I think other people will judge my maturity or think I look less beautiful without it. Makeup can be an art, a method of self-expression, or a way to highlight your beauty, but it shouldn’t be a mask you hide behind.
I support womxn in whatever their makeup choices are, whether it’s full glam every day, none at all, or somewhere in-between. If makeup makes you feel happy and good about yourself, then by all means, you do you! However, if there’s a chance that you feel the way I felt (and still sometimes feel) about makeup or the way you look, then it might be beneficial to let yourself be vulnerable and try taking a break. The confidence you gain might surprise you.
