We’ll start with a cliche… but one you may need to hear.
When it comes down to it, he’s just a guy. Look, we’ve all been there in some way or another. We may get distracted at times, daydreaming about someone else. Or maybe you are stressing about something he did or didn’t do. Let me tell you right now: all that energy you are putting into him should be going towards you. This is a prime opportunity for you to explore yourself and what that looks like. These are the moments to create memories with your friends, and yes, a side plot is fun, but don’t let it be the whole story. Personally, I feel incredibly grateful for the ability to have built peace and fun into my life. I have explored my interests, hobbies and dreams just by using the attention I would get from someone else in my own self-exploration.
Say yes. For some of us, it’s easy to step out of our comfort zone and try something new. That thrill can be exhilarating. Whereas some of us find that thrill to be really just be anxiety inducing. There will be times when you feel like you could’ve been fine without an experience, but you will never know if you don’t say yes. I was terrified to start going to the gym, I felt I was taking up space I wasn’t worthy of. But then I agreed to go to a pilates and cycling class with a friend. I hated cycling, but loved pilates. It became a hobby and safe space for me that I would have never known if I hadn’t just risked what saying yes meant. Always use good judgment, but saying yes can be the best thing for you if you just give it a chance.
You will fail, but that does not make you a failure. It can be harsh to face, but it happens. We are human and we’re students, so sometimes things just fall apart like putty in our hands. Last year, when I was riding a high of opportunities and feeling so incredibly proud of all my efforts, when I thought nothing could stop me, I got my car towed. It was humbling. I was embarrassed, frustrated and overall just upset with myself for making such a silly mistake that cost me so much, literally. But sometimes the universe just needs to balance itself. The universe isn’t against us having it all; it just needs to remind us that having it all doesn’t mean you are immune to the simple mistakes. You will do something silly and be so mad at yourself, but you are doing so well already. So, although it can be hard, you shake it off and keep moving forward. This is adulthood.
It can take a lot of time to find your place. People talk about college like it is a magical well of acceptance and discovery. It is true in a lot of ways, but it is not an overnight magical portal to your dream “you.” It takes time to become whatever life you are hoping to create. And when you find pieces of it, it may not be what you expected, but it can be better. I felt behind most of my first year, trying to find myself and my place in school. I thought I was somehow failing at my college experience by not automatically changing when I stepped foot on campus. It took until my second year to begin to feel like I found a sense of belonging. It wasn’t until I stopped hoping a life I liked was going to find me, and I started creating it myself.
All in all, you can create a life that you love, but take the lessons as they come. Listen to those around you who have your best interests in mind, and listen to yourself. Your intuition is strong; you’ll find just what you need. And as you go and until then, Her Campus has your back.