How To Drop Out Of College And Become a Sheep Farmer

Finals getting you down? Feeling a little too stressed? Can’t think about college without crying? Well, look no further! Here’s a rough step-by-step guide to leaving it all behind and continuing your life humbly with a flock of 25 to 1,000 sheep.

Step 1: Withdraw from school

In the digital age, dropping out of college is a matter of clicks and a notarized signature. Don’t think about it too much--just check the deadlines for your specific institution, drop all of your classes, send in your form of withdrawal or cancellation, and start smelling the sweet smell of regret sheep on the horizon.

Step 2: Choose your location

You’ve got three choices if you want to be in the big leagues of sheep farming: 1. China, they’ve got roughly 143.8 million sheep, 2. Australia, they’re a little less sheep-y than China with about 99.3 million sheep, and 3. India, if you’re into a more low-key vibe; India only has a sheep population of around 61 million.

Step 3: Pack your bags and go

Don’t overthink it! Just buy a plane ticket, pack your bags, abandon the life you’ve always known, and try not to act too dead inside.

Step 4: Buy a nice plot of land

Now that you don’t have to pay for an education, you can purchase the land of your dreams! Make sure it’s got a nice big pasture for your sheep to roam in and a little space in the corner for the shack you’ll be calling home.

Step 5: Go online shopping for your sheep

You’ll probably have to wander into the nearest town or village to find a wi-fi signal, but once you do, ordering sheep is as easy as dropping out of school! Just find a breeder online, put in your new address and credit card information, and confirm the best purchase you’ll ever make. Remember: the more sheep you have, the more you’ll fill that unexplainable, gaping void you feel.

Step 6: Receive your sheep

Ordering a flock of sheep is like ordering a flock of new friends. And just like friends, you’ll have to make sure that they’re all happy, comfortable, clean, and well-fed so they provide you with high-quality wool or milk.

Step 7: Enjoy your new life / Call your mom
 
 
Soak in all the glory of living off the lay of the land, and then call your mom to pick you up when you can’t take it any more.