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Anna Thetard / Her Campus
Mental Health

The Effects of Loneliness Culture

This time of year especially, and at this point in my life, I see everyone in this constant state of loneliness. Everyone’s mindset is that we’re better lonely together than we are lonely apart. But, I promise you, this mentality to diminish the loneliness is toxic to our own wellbeing and has serious aftereffects. This mindset is scary and leads to so much pain for so many people. When you’re careless with others’ hearts, yours will hurt the worst.

You are meant to feel lonely sometimes. That doesn’t mean you have to settle with having a warm body to help you feel less alone. In the end, it doesn’t work anyway, because loneliness is an endless cycle if you’re lonely with yourself. As a generation, we need to work on being content by being by ourselves and using that time to grow into ourselves.

In no way am I saying you shouldn’t experience whatever your heart desires and to take chances, but at the end of the day, you are most likely going to hurt someone (whether it be another person or yourself). 

I can’t stress this enough: the pain that you put yourself through by being vulnerable with people who don’t deserve it is the most draining feeling in the world. I’ve learned that you need to evaluate each and every person you’re vulnerable with. Does this person deserve the energy you’re putting into them or spending thinking about them? I’ve realized that I am incredibly naive and that people will take advantage of that. 

You need to take everyone at face value, but you also have to understand that no matter their good intentions, they will be the villain in your story. It’s okay to have loved and lost, and I would much rather experience that life than an uneventful one. But sometimes you have to ask yourself: is worth the potential pain?

Being an extremely emotional person, I’ve learned to be so much more guarded with who I let close to me and who I allow to know certain parts of me. I’m not doing it necessarily out of caution, but I care to an unhealthy extent about everything in my life, and I need to be mindful of that.

There are so many ways to cure feelings of loneliness, and there are so many wonderful people out there to talk to. When you seek people to cure your loneliness, it creates a slippery slope where one of you is bound to bleed while the other is the cause. I’m so sick of living in that world and of being in a situation that only amplifies loneliness.

Abby is a fourth year at the University of California, Davis majoring in Human Development and Psychology. She enjoys music, spending time with friends, the outdoors, and writing.
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