After many experiences in my life, I have learned that you cannot force anything to happen. Sometimes we get caught up wanting something to occur so bad, that we start to go a little crazy trying to make it a reality. For me personally, this was the case when it came to developing relationships, finding internships, and even choosing the college I wanted to go to. What I learned at the end of the day is that if something is not meant to happen, you cannot force it to no matter how badly you want it. So instead of killing yourself and pursuing something that isn’t right, try to remember these few tips that will probably make you better off in the long run.
Accept what is
After a while when you see your effort is probably being wasted, it may be time to just accept what is actually happening. For example, say you make a new friend who you think is super cool. You guys have a lot of fun together and have great conversations right off the bat. But then you realize you’re always the one texting that person to hang out. You seem to be putting in more effort into the friendship than the other person. The best thing to probably do in this case is just accept that that’s how your new friend acts and the friendship probably isn’t as great as you had hoped, or just confront the person and see what happens!
Be grateful for what you have
If you keep trying to do something, but it’s just not working out, try focusing on the positives instead of the negatives! Say you’ve been striving for months now to get a summer job, but nothing has come through. Instead of being sad about not working, think of the valuable time you’ll have to yourself for a few months. Enjoy this free time because after college, you’ll just be continuously working. I’m not saying to give up looking for a job, but if it doesn’t happen then it isn’t the end of the world.
Remember everything happens for a reason
When it seems like doors keep closing on you, the key thing to remember is that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes what we think is best for us isn’t really, so it might be better that it didn’t happen. All we can do is trust in the future and hope that everything will work out. Even if things don’t work out the way you expected, a very valuable learning experience may arise from the new event. In the case of picking colleges, UCD was not my first choice but I definitely think coming here shaped me for the better.