Believe it or not, some TikTok dating theories may hold more truth than you would think. I’m lucky enough to have Dr. Paul Eastwick, a psychology professor here at UC Davis (whose research focuses on romantic relationships) and co-host of the Love Factually podcast, analyze some popular theories and weigh how much truth there is to each one.
The OCTOBER THEORY
The October Theory claims that during the month of October, people are more inclined to want to be in a relationship, as holidays like Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas are around the corner. This promotes more couple activities, such as couple costumes, matching Christmas pajamas or baking holiday treats. Many TikTokers believe that these activities motivate people to get into relationships, connecting with the idea that this time of the year is “cuffing season“. Many people also post themselves with their SO participating in such activities, creating more motivation for others to get into a relationship themselves.
Dr. Eastwick notes that we are not “seasonal bonding species,” so there is no proof that people are more likely to pair up at specific months of the year. He mentions that undergraduates enrolled in the course PSC 1 indicated that in September, “35% of students are partnered up, while in January and April, it is around 38%.” Based on this, Dr. Eastwick points out that it’s a small increase, hinting that people might break up in the summer to find new partners when starting school in the fall. It has less to do with time of the year, and more to do with people coming back to campus single.
The Bird Theory
With a simple question for your partner, the Bird Theory sets up a test that gauges the health of your romantic relationship. All you have to do is tell your SO that you saw a bird and observe how they react. A successful reaction would be if your significant other asked about where you saw the bird or what color the bird was, showing interest in your findings. A failed reaction would be if they reply in an uninterested manner, not caring about what you saw or saying something like “There’s birds everywhere.”
While Dr. Eastwick doesn’t recommend “pointing to a single moment to define your relationship”, he acknowledges that the Bird Theory is based on the reasonable idea that partners enjoy when you show interest or validate their perspective because it builds intimacy. Dr. Eastwick goes on to say that, “if you were to do the bird test, say, 100 times, and the vast majority ‘failed,’ then yes, that might have bad implications for your relationship.”
The bird theory could be one to test out, but only if you’re ready to do it many, many times.
The Taxi Cab Theory
The Taxi Cab Theory was adapted from the hit show, Sex in the City, where the main characters create an analogy that men are like taxi cabs. They can go driving around, picking up women for years, yet still not be available. One day their light will go on, and the next girl they pick is likely the one they’ll settle down with. The characters claim that love isn’t faith, it’s about timing and pure luck. People brought this theory onto TikTok saying that it holds true, as some people will date a person for many years, break up with them, then go on to marry the next person they date.
Dr. Eastwick offers two counterpoints to this theory. The first one being that this can be applied to both men and women, and the second: could the person getting into the taxi turn on the person’s taxi light? It’s less about when the person is “ready”, but more about when they meet someone they really like, turning their taxicab light on and motivating them to get into a serious relationship.
These theories are fun to think about but should never be taken too seriously. A common thread in Dr. Eastwick’s reactions is that relationships are too nuanced to be encapsulated by a single theory. So if you’re single, don’t rush into a relationship just to do cute couple activities; you can do the same with your friends while enjoying the freedom of being single. And if you are in a relationship, avoid judging the status of your relationship on one test. Leaving you with this quote from Dr. Eastwick, “Timing and luck matter a lot in terms of who finds whom and who clicks with whom.”