In today’s world, there is a constant influx of things happening around us at an overwhelming pace. Global pandemic aside, we live in a rapidly changing political and social environment as well. The world is constantly adapting, and we’re kind of just thrown into the deep end.
Throughout this time period, I’ve felt increasingly removed from anything outside of school and work. I find it hard to engage with anything that isn’t staring me in the face on my written-out schedule, and for a while I felt extremely guilty about this. This feeling didn’t stop at staying informed about societal events, but slowly started encompassing my personal health and well-being too. Cleaning my room, thinking about what I was gonna eat for the day, or thinking about making a phone call all felt extremely daunting, and more often than I care to admit I simply chose to ignore them. These decisions had their own consequences in themselves, and I felt like I was constantly picking my battles for each day. Whether that was feeling anxious about how my messy portion of the room looked like compared to my roommate’s, or feeling gross that I didn’t change out of my pajamas that day, or just feeling bad that I couldn’t find it in myself to care, I was constantly just digging myself into a bigger and bigger hole.
With the pandemic and my fluctuating mental health, I could only seem to focus on the tangible. The due dates, the deadlines, the upcoming tests. Anything outside that scope I left for another date that typically only got done at the peak of my stress when I found that I could no longer physically stare at a screen. But even then, I would be flooded with anxiety simply because I wasn’t doing work.
I allowed myself to function like this up until it was obvious that I wasn’t taking care of myself properly. With my busy schedule, I had more or less allowed myself to ignore my own health for the sake of trying to do too much at once. After talking to my doctor, I was smacked in the face with the realization that I had severely mixed up my priorities.
One of the most important things I had to teach myself was that I didn’t constantly have to be doing work in order to feel productive. Productivity comes in lots of many important forms, whether that is getting yourself dressed up in a nice outfit for the day, making yourself a nice meal, or just doing your laundry. I find even just spending time with people I love, completely disconnected from anything else, is extremely important for my sanity as well. Learning to value moments like these became very important for my well-being and is largely why I have slowly begun to feel like myself again.
The point is, in the midst of everything we’re living through, it is most important to always remember yourself first. You can’t feel guilty for not being able to do anything beyond that, because progress has to start with you. While it is important to keep up with the news, get the best grades possible, and stay in touch with friends, you have to remember that this can’t come at your own expense. It is essential to be in tune with yourself and be cognizant of what you can handle, and to remember that it is okay you can’t do it all.