For the past week, couples have felt the stress of planning the perfect Valentine’s Day for their signficant other. While that temporary pressure has since faded, society continues to push single people to feel like they need to pair up (as if being in a relationship is infinitely better than being alone). But being in the wrong relationship with someone who doesn’t appreciate you can be a thousand times worse. How can you tell that he (or she) isn’t right for you?
1. You can never get a hold of him.
Unless of course, he reaches out to you first. Specifically, at 3am, and surprise, surprise: what activity is he up for? Netflix and chill, at his place, of course. The girls who are looking for casual relationships notwithstanding, it’s best to drop the guy who plays the hot and cold game at his convenience. Confused at best, and manipulative at worst, a guy or any person who was truly interested in fostering a deeper connection with you will not only find time, but make time to meet with you.
2. How disrespects the women in his life.
This includes his classmates, his friends, his sisters, and his mother. You might think the bad egg would be obvious, and you wouldn’t even consider the blatant misogynist as a dating partner. But when he’s constantly talking smack about his female friends, or he tells you later down the line that he wouldn’t date a woman above thirty because they are undesirable, or when he looks down on women who’s had more partners than he had—they’re little remarks, but huge indicators into his views of women and ultimately his treatment of you.
3. He constantly criticizes you.
The way you dress, how you do your hair, the TV shows you like—all unsatisfactory. There isn’t one thing about you he can’t bring up in a condescending fashion. Constructive criticism and differing opinion is a different story, and even welcome. But criticism on this level wears you down to the bone and makes you doubt your own judgement. No one should be in a relationship only to be brought down.
4. He never accepts responsibility.
His failing grades? The professor’s fault. His withering physique? Your fault because you don’t go to the gym with him, decreasing his own motivation. Getting him to apologize is like pulling teeth. Don’t fall for the excuse that he’s prideful or he has a “manly” façade to maintain; accepting blame and sincerely apologizing is the actual sign of inner strength, courage, and wisdom.
5. You’re reading this article.
Maybe you’ve already Googled countless key words, reading countless articles. Delving through “does he still love me” and “signs he loves me”, you’re desperate for some affirmation, for a little hint that belies all his other behavior. But also maybe, you’re reading this because you already know. Deep inside you already know the answer to all your questions, and all the Google results couldn’t tell you more.