The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
At some point in our lives, we all experience heartbreak. Whether it be an ex partner or ending a friendship with a friend, the list is practically endless. Although there are many reasons you can get heartbroken, there are also many solutions to mend it. These 9 tips will help you pick yourself up and start fresh again.
- allow yourself to be sad.
Heartbreak is like any other loss and depriving your soul of grieving will only prolong the healing process in the end. The mentality of not allowing yourself to be sad because “it was their loss” is one of the most harmful mentalities to have during a tough time like this. It is essential to allow yourself to feel sad or mad at how the situation played out; YOU are entitled to feel those feelings for as long as you need to. It is important that you are gentle with yourself and that you validate your feelings. In the following days, allow yourself to cry and allow yourself to be mad at the person that broke your heart; acknowledge the hurt. Although it may suck in the moment, these feelings are what will help you heal but only if you choose to release them.
- Don’t indulge in your feelings.
Though it is extremely important to express your feelings, it is also important to not become those feelings as well. If you are feeling sad, acknowledge it. Let yourself be sad for a certain amount of time. Take this time to journal, cry, scream, or truly think about how you are feeling. But as soon as that time is up, you wipe those tears away and move on with your day.
- Find a Support system.
After losing your person, it is necessary to surround yourself with people you love. Call two or three people you really care about and let them know what you are going through and can use a shoulder to lean on at the moment. There is a high chance that the people you are talking to have gotten through some sort of heartbreak or something similar. Sharing experiences, advice, and hashing out your feelings can be very beneficial when it comes to healing and reminds you that you are not alone.
- Take care of yourself.
Taking care of yourself is key when going through a heartbreak. Surprisingly, a lot of people forget to take care of themselves because they are too wrapped up in trying to get rid of the pain. Check in with yourself and ask yourself what do you need today to get through the day. Remember to do that skincare routine, take an occasional bubble bath, and get your minimum eight hours of sleep.
- Create a new routine.
People often find it helpful to break out of old patterns and create a new routine to help switch up your life. This can be done by incorporating a new activity you may want to try or deciding to wake up earlier; shake up your routine and venture out to do things you think you will love.
- Identify Toxic Patterns.
It is normal to do an occasional instagram stalking or send an impulsive drunk text. It is normal to feel vulnerable after a breakup, but it is not normal to find yourself indulging in obsessive behavior. Checking their social media accounts every hour to see if they have moved on with life or are just as miserable as you are or having your friends keep an eye on them so you are kept in the loop with their life. If you find yourself in this mindset, it is important that you reach out to a friend or professional and let them know what is going on.
- Don’t internalize the breakup
After a tough breakup, avoid negative thoughts like, “I wasn’t good enough” or “Only if I…” Instead, focus on healing and letting go of the grudge that you may have.
After a breakup is the best time to self-reflect and really think back to what type of person you were when in that previous relationship. Grab a pencil and paper and take some time to sit down to write all the things you loved about the relationship and all the things you didn’t love. Doing this will help show you what you may be looking for in the next relationship when the time comes.
- Don’t force a speedy healing process.
If there is anything you take away from this article, let it be this: do not force yourself to heal quickly. Time does really heal and I know that in the moment you will feel like time is taking its sweet time (pun intended), but trust me when I tell you that time will be your best friend when it comes to healing. Any injury takes time to heal, the same applies when it comes to a broken heart.
Everyone heals at their own pace and their own way. Although I can figure that you are seeking out this article to find some type advice, I hate to break to you that there is no official handbook on how to get over heartbreak. Although these 9 pointers can push you to the right direction, this advice might work for some and might not work for others. Don’t feel the need to follow these steps word for word because you feel it will help you get over the heartache. Find what is right for you and who knows, maybe some of these things might be listed above. Happy healing <3