My Body is Not Your Discussion

Growing up, I have always dealt with other people wanting to make comments on my body and overall appearance. When I was younger, my peers would make my body their topic of discussion, constantly making me believe that my body was not good enough. I faced harsh remarks—too many to count—including having my body sexualized. 

Because of this, I struggled with body insecurities and had a hard time trying to fit into these picture-perfect standards that people imposed on me. My figure was never considered “sexy” enough to others. This caused me to loathe my appearance and struggle with presenting my femininity to society. If I dressed a bit masculine, I’d get called a “prude”, and if I showed just the slightest bit of skin I was “asking for attention.” 

Soon enough, I began to grow confidence with my image and told myself that I am the only one who is in control over MY own body. As I began college back in 2018, none of this really began to matter anymore and I stopped caring about what others would think and/or say about what I wore or how I looked. I simply began to live a carefree life in regards to my appearance, and I’m no longer afraid to speak my mind about myself, because at the end of the day, this is my body, not anyone else’s. 

Although I have learned to block and ignore all of these comments, I still have my days where these body issues resurface. I’ve been told several times to “get over it” or to “move on,” but believe it or not, these mean remarks can linger with you for a really long time. So even though I have improved my confidence to do what I want with my body, my subtle feelings of insecurity that creep through here and there are still 100% valid and I am allowed to express my emotions, both good and bad.  

These cruel and sexualizing comments about my body no longer affect me the way that they used to when I was younger. I’ve accepted that I am a living, breathing person whose body is perfectly normal for me. I have pimples here and there, I don’t have the biggest bottom, I don’t shave my armpits or body hair all the time (and I don’t have to), I have cellulite, and stretch marks – the list goes on. 

Learning to feel comfortable and love our bodies is not an easy process. It is a journey that we have every right to take our time with. One helpful tip of mine that has helped me love my body more has been by reminding myself through positive affirmations every once in a while. 

These aren’t “imperfections” as everyone has put them out to be. These are all normal body features that society and the media has made others feel bad for. So no, I’m not “asking for it” with what I wear or what I do with my body, and I certainly don’t remember asking for someone’s opinion in the first place.  

 

• body positivity
• self-love
• wellness