Back in high school, I was always the first person to tell people “I don’t do nic”, but when my 2nd year of college rolled around, I found myself buying a new stupid little ‘puff bar’ every week. I knew I was being extra stupid when I was sneaking off on Christmas to hit my puff, needed it in the airport, when it died I would get anxious, or constantly checking my pockets to make sure I had it. Thinking about quitting made me nervous because that meant I would have to go the REST of my LIFE without hitting nicotine. No nic at concerts, no nic at parties, no nic when I was driving or studying. If someone offered it to me I would have to say ‘no’ and be that person. But a scarier idea was thinking I’d get so addicted I’d need to ‘hit it’ on my wedding day or take a ‘break’ and hit it at work. My lungs had gotten so bad I hardly had the want to go running; I ran a half marathon 3 months ago and now even getting out the door left me huffing and puffing. It was sad. I was so hooked on nicotine that I hated myself but couldn’t get off of it either because it felt so good. All my friends were ‘fiends’, so when I didn’t have mine it was being offered to me. Plus it was so easy to access. It would take me maybe 10 minutes to get a new puff bar or juul pod if a craving hit. And that would last me 5 more days.
Around Christmas I decided I wanted to quit. But I wasn’t ready yet. I kept setting ‘quit dates’ but something would always happen where I’d pick it up again. Whether it was going to a rave and ‘needing one’, or a new flavor came out and I just had to try, I would keep pushing it back and back. But one day my friend told me that the puff bars I was hitting were manufactured where the corona virus was having a major outbreak. Not only that, but they were also horribly manufactured and were causing so much damage to my body than smoking a cigarette would. Now my dad is a smoker, and ever since I was little I remember him in the kitchen smoking cigarettes in the morning before school or even in the car picking me up from basketball practice;it was just a part of who he was. Thisnever bothered me until I started to see what I was doing. I didn’t want it to be a part of who I am. That was the last straw for me; I decided to quit. I saw my future, I saw what it was doing to my body, I saw how much money I was spending on it, and I decided it was enough. I also kept getting ads from “this is quitting” on my IG and facebook, so I enrolled in their FREE text system(which I still get, thank God), which texted me every day on tips to quit, how to stay that way, not to feel bad if you slip up(which happens!), and how to progress the right way.
I’m not going to lie and say quitting was easy and that it made me feel better all of a sudden. I’m also not going to say I am perfect and never hit nic again. Because I’m not. I hit nic after I quit, and I think about buying new puff bars all the time. But I don’t and that is progress in my opinion. So here are some of the things that helped me to kick my habit to the curb and keep me on the right path.
Think about what makes you want to hit it. For me, driving to and from work I would always hit it. It made the drive easier and made me less stressed going into work. So I replaced my pen with keeping a pack of my favorite gum in my car console, and buying these tiny squishy toys from the dollar store. So instead of hitting my vape I would chew a piece of gum and play with my tiny squishy toy. I dissociated driving with vaping, and instead, associated it with watermelon gum and fidget toys. That helped so much. Another situation where I’d want to hit it was when I was laying in bed watching netflix. I tried to decide if this was me just wanting to hit something to keep me distracted or if I liked the feeling. Something that has helped friends of mine who just liked the feeling of smoke was a non-nicotine vape like health-vape or calm. I got a health-vape and at first didn’t like it(because it has no nicotine ‘kick’) but the farther I got into quitting the more it helped in those situations where I just wanted to smoke. Another huge trigger for me was social situations where everyone else was. Step one to fix that trigger is to tell your friends you’re quitting. They won’t offer it to you(because often times they wish they could have your willpower to quit too) and I would always feel guilty asking for it. Drop the stigma in your mind that it’s ‘cool’ and pick up the ideology that it is just as cool to not vape.
Calculate how much money you spent on your vape. I kept a box of all my dead vapes. When I decided to quit I poured all my dead vapes out and I had probably over 20 from just a 3-4 month period. That’s about $200. That was more than I paid to go to Beyond Wonderland. That’s my flight to go HOME for the weekend if I wanted to. That is so many bargains from TJ Maxx. I would much rather be spending that money on cool experiences or cute clothes than on little nicotine soaked bars that are ruining my respiratory system. So I promised myself that after 2 weeks of quitting I would go on a shopping spree and on Sunday I got so many cute clothes with my housemate(who has kept me nothing but accountable). Which leads me to my next point –
Have a reason why you’re quitting and tell someone that. My housemate Debbi has never had a nicotine addiction and so when I decided to quit I told her and I told her all my reasons why. Everytime I feel like slipping up, I text her or talk to her about why I’m quitting and she reassures me and motivates me. Your reason should be specific and goal-oriented. For me, I couldn’t run anymore(which was something I had worked so hard on all fall), and I wanted to be able to run again. So when I decided to quit it was to get my stamina back and be able to run again and *hopefully* run another half-marathon in the spring! Another huge reason for me is because I am a teacher and I would not want any of my students vaping – so why would I? I thought about how I am an example to them and If I couldn’t lead by example then I am just a hypocrite. These are two things I cling to when I think about my stupid nicotine addiciton and it empowers me to keep going when things get tough because…
It is hard. That should be a given. Quitting nicotine is SO hard. But it is NOT impossible and I can assure you you’ve done harder things than quit nicotine. Pulling 3 all nighters straight during finals week is hard. Passing college level calculus is hard. Compared to that, quitting a nicotine addiction is way simpler. But when you quit you’re probably going to experience some symptoms like irritability, being emotionally drained, being physically tired, difficulty concentrating, headaches, and most of all SUPER intense cravings for nicotine. But don’t stress too much. There are ways around this. First, find an alternative. For me it was gum and a squishy toy. For you maybe it’s a redbull and going on a walk. Maybe it’s calling your mom or texting your partner. Maybe it’s looking at a pinterest board of sunsets. Find something that can stand in place of hitting nicotine. This is quitting offers you to text them when you want to hit it and they’ll text you back something encouraging. Don’t feel weird about asking for help because no matter how normalized nicotine addiction has become, it is an addiction, and it is harmful.
Don’t give up on quitting just because you bought a new vape, just because you hit it at a party, just because it’s getting hard. There is no linear path to quitting nicotine. There is not one way to do it. You have to want to quit and then just go from there. If you buy a new one, that’s okay; try again tomorrow. If you hit it, that’s okay. Don’t hit it next time. Slowly but surely, you’ll feel yourself wanting it less. You are so much better than a nicotine addiction. It’s not as fun as you think. And your future you will thank you when you’re not throwing tons of chemicals into your body anymore.