I have always struggled with holding on to unwanted feelings and letting positive feelings into my life. Over quarantine, I had a long, deep reflection about the woman I am and about the woman I want to become. I no longer wanted to hold on to hurtful emotions that inhibit my self-growth. I craved positive feelings to enter my life to replace the negative ones.
The first thing I wanted to let go of is insecurity. I was constantly comparing myself to others and disliking the way I looked. Allowing myself to be insecure affected me negatively in relationships because I would overthink and feel as if I wasn’t “good enough” or that my partner would leave me for someone else. It grew annoying that I would repeatedly have these thoughts, but I never tried to stop it. I just kept letting it happen, and it grew worse because then I started to seek validation from others. At this point, I knew this was an ugly habit and I needed to put an end to it. I wanted to welcome confidence into my life. I started by working out and building the body that I wanted. I also followed uplifting women on social media. Most importantly, I started to speak highly of myself. I told myself I looked good in a new outfit I bought and how beautiful I looked in a picture I took. As soon as I started to fall in love with myself, the feelings of insecurity went away. It took months to reach this point, and I still am learning as I go, but I feel proud that I accomplished something that was difficult for me to do.
[bf_image id="g6f9jnrmrrw36nbvsqfjwtg"] Other things I let go of were unhealthy memories. The memories that didn’t make me feel good and reminded me of how hurtful people were to me. When I held on to these memories, the anger I felt that day reappeared again, and it just wasn’t healthy for my well-being. This was something hard to do because I never got closure from certain incidents, but I realized the disrespect was all the closure I needed.
[bf_image id="q60gek-gm1bk-41poz1"] Overall, practicing healthy habits helps me grow into the woman I want to become. I want to be happy, successful, daring, and so much more. The beginning of this journey was difficult, but as time goes on it gets easier. I encourage every woman that is entering adulthood to reflect on their own negative feelings and learn to replace them with better ones.