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Mental Health

How I Let Go of Negative Feelings and Welcomed Positive Ones

I have always struggled with holding on to unwanted feelings and letting positive feelings into my life. Over quarantine, I had a long, deep reflection about the woman I am and about the woman I want to become. I no longer wanted to hold on to hurtful emotions that inhibit my self-growth. I craved positive feelings to enter my life to replace the negative ones. 

The first thing I wanted to let go of is insecurity. I was constantly comparing myself to others and disliking the way I looked. Allowing myself to be insecure affected me negatively in relationships because I would overthink and feel as if I wasn’t “good enough” or that my partner would leave me for someone else.  It grew annoying that I would repeatedly have these thoughts, but I never tried to stop it. I just kept letting it happen, and it grew worse because then I started to seek validation from others. At this point, I knew this was an ugly habit and I needed to put an end to it. I wanted to welcome confidence into my life. I started by working out and building the body that I wanted. I also followed uplifting women on social media. Most importantly, I started to speak highly of myself. I told myself I looked good in a new outfit I bought and how beautiful I looked in a picture I took. As soon as I started to fall in love with myself, the feelings of insecurity went away. It took months to reach this point, and I still am learning as I go, but I feel proud that I accomplished something that was difficult for me to do. 

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Along with insecurity, I wanted to let go of self-doubt. I frequently doubted my abilities as a student. I would second-guess that I could accomplish my dreams, and I thought I needed to have “Plan Bs” on my career. As I subconsciously doubted myself, I was losing motivation. I wouldn’t put my best efforts forward because I had an easier Plan B that I didn’t really want but was suitable. I eliminated the Plan B. I told myself there is none and that plan A is the only option. Switching my mentality instantly changed my perspective in the classroom. I took each assignment seriously and worked diligently. I built new study habits and sought out help when I needed it. I’m currently applying to different leadership positions and other opportunities to help me reach my plan A. It feels great. Every day I feel inspired to do what I need to do.  

[bf_image id="g6f9jnrmrrw36nbvsqfjwtg"]  Other things I let go of were unhealthy memories. The memories that didn’t make me feel good and reminded me of how hurtful people were to me. When I held on to these memories, the anger I felt that day reappeared again, and it just wasn’t healthy for my well-being. This was something hard to do because I never got closure from certain incidents, but I realized the disrespect was all the closure I needed.

[bf_image id="q60gek-gm1bk-41poz1"] Overall, practicing healthy habits helps me grow into the woman I want to become. I want to be happy, successful, daring, and so much more. The beginning of this journey was difficult, but as time goes on it gets easier. I encourage every woman that is entering adulthood to reflect on their own negative feelings and learn to replace them with better ones.  

Alyssa Monroy

UC Riverside '24

A cellular, molecular, and developmental biology major and public policy minor that loves science, beauty, and writing.
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