Have you ever had to break up with someone you’ve never dated? It hurts just as bad, if not worse, than a breakup with someone you were in a relationship with. Getting over a guy you’ve never dated is more difficult than an actual boyfriend because when you’re in a relationship with someone, you know all their flaws. You saw first-hand what they aren’t capable of bringing into the relationship and how incompatible the two of you are. But when you end something with a guy you’ve never dated, everything is a “what if…?” Your relationship with them is a fantasy you make up in your head, and fantasies are perfect. Your mind created a flawless relationship which makes it more difficult to get over this person. I’ve been through my fair share of breakups and heartbreaks, so I’m here to help you get over that boy you can’t stop thinking about!
Stop Believing it Would Have Worked Out
(Photo by Ben Rosett on Unsplash)
You need to stop thinking that this boy was perfect and everything would have worked out like a fairytale. You don’t actually know if any of this is true. Anytime you think about a positive quality he had, replace it with a negative one you noticed. For example, he was great for taking you out to dinner that one time, but remember when he wouldn’t stop talking about his ex? We tend to focus so much on all the good things that happened that we end up disregarding the bad things.
Stop Getting Caught Up in the Story
(Photo by Scott Broome on Unsplash)
When we’re heartbroken, we have a tendency to tell other people about it. We usually talk about the story of how you two met, got closer, and then how he broke your heart. Stop getting caught up with the story of how the two of you began, and start focusing on the reality. Who cares if the way you met is straight out of a movie? The reality is, you didn’t get deep enough into your “relationship” with this guy to discover why he’s not good for you. Knowing that he doesn’t like you should be reason enough that you can do better. If he was the one, he would have noticed immediately that you were worth it.
Stop Looking at His Social Media
(Photo by Kev Costello on Unsplash)
I am a firm believer that out of sight is out of mind. The very first thing I do when I think I’m falling for someone I shouldn’t be is mute them on all forms of social media. I don’t block them because I don’t want them to know that they were able to control my feelings. Muting them prevents their posts from appearing on my feed. Everytime you stalk their social media, you remember good times you had with them, which won’t help you get over this person.
Always remember that a boy is not meant to complete you. Relationships aren’t 50/50, but 100/100. You need to be complete on your own before you commit to being in a relationship with someone. Don’t rely on boys to build your self-esteem. Once you learn to completely love yourself, you’ll be okay with letting go of all these fantasy relationships. Remember, time heals everything. You’ll be okay.