I was going through my nightly routine a few nights ago when my eyes landed on a round scar I have a little bit above my right eyebrow and to the left. I have known about this scar since I can remember and legend has it (according to my mom telling this story) that it originated from the chickenpox I got at the age of two. It is an interesting scar because it is a perfectly round little hole, barely noticeable if you do not look hard enough.
When I first became aware of this scar, I was insecure about it. In my head, I saw that the small circle was huge and covering most of my forehead. People were definitely going to start noticing the scar that had always been there but I was now aware of. Of course this did not make any sense because the scar was nothing new, only my knowledge of it. I also had no memory of the chickenpox that had caused the scar to form; the only proof that my mom’s story was true was a single picture of two-year-old me sitting on a plastic chair with only a diaper on and covered in red dots.
When I looked at the scar a few days ago, I began thinking about my lack of memory about the chickenpox but the undeniable proof that was in front of me. Forgetting that I ever had chickenpox did not get rid of the scar that I had and always will have on my forehead. These thoughts made me realize that many things in life are just like this. Forgetting about something that happens to us or letting go of pain and hurting does not erase the scars that they have already created in us. Those invisible scars, we cannot get rid of so easily. And that is okay.
That small, perfect circle on my forehead has become part of what constitutes my features. It also proves that I have already gone through the chickenpox experience in case I lose the picture of two-year-old me! What I am trying to say is that my scar made me realize, as I go through my own healing process, that I will never get rid of the scars that have formed through the years. Times right now are difficult for everyone. The future is uncertain and scars have been forming in people all around the world as we experience this collective trauma. Many have lost loved ones, jobs, even hope, but I do believe God has a purpose and uses all things for the better. Our perspective can be narrow sometimes and things that hurt us are difficult to understand, but even when things give us scars shape who we are.
I am just as proud about my small, round indent on my forehead as the scar on my heart caused by a broken relationship. I am becoming who I am thanks to all my scars and for that I thank God whole-heartedly. My hope is that anyone reading this can feel the same about their own scars and see how beautiful they have made you.