For centuries, women have faced many challenges, especially when it comes to dealing with societal pressures. Now, we are left to face yet another one: maintaining and building standards in a society that tries to dissolve them, or label us for doing so — particularly when it comes to romantic relationships.
Once we create boundaries and set our standards, we are faced with scrutiny and are given labels such as “high maintenance,” “snobby,” or “picky.” These negatively connoted labels put pressure on us to settle and accept a relationship that isn’t meant for us. I’d like to advocate that maintaining standards, especially in today’s world, is a form of self-care, and that it is important to remember — or recognize — your self-worth so that you don’t settle for less. Here are a few reasons why we shouldn’t settle for anything less than what we deserve in 2023!
1. SETTLING IS ACCEPTING MEDIOCRE AND POTENTIALLY TOXIC
Either we’ve been there, or know a friend who at some point has expressed that they lowered their standards for a person or relationship, yet still ended up disappointed. If these are scenarios we are facing then why ever should we lower or conform our standards?
A healthy relationship should contribute to one’s happiness. There can often be times when one doesn’t even realize they’re settling, especially if they’re looking at a relationship they’ve been in for some time. It can be easy to dismiss red flags when you’re looking at your relationship through rose-colored glasses.
Settling in a relationship can also set up accepting your partner’s mediocre behavior and treatment towards you. This may lead to feelings of resentment or turn the relationship towards facing toxicity, which doesn’t lead the relationship in a healthy direction or to a road of happiness.
2. IT KEEPS YOU STUCK IN A COMFORT ZONE
Whether in a new relationship or an established one, settling can often feel safe and comfortable. With newer relationships, there can be pressure to settle for a “blah” relationship if a partner checks off boxes and is nice.
In long-term relationships, many may choose to settle due to time and familiarity. This acceptance can entrap and keep you stuck in a comfort zone — a place where you know what to expect and feel secure. Aspiring for a relationship that is right for you may be more challenging but will encourage and put you in a place of growth instead of keeping you trapped in that comfort zone.
3. IT CREATES LIMITATIONS
If you ever feel like you’re settling with a person, in a relationship, or with a certain type of treatment, it can create limitations that can only end up holding you back. If you truly feel that something is missing but settle for acceptance, this settlement can carry onto how you make choices. Settlement can also affect how you speak up for yourself in the future and may even continue outside of the relationship.
4. IT CREATES SELF-DOUBT
Over time, settling can create or enhance self-doubt as one may start to believe that they don’t deserve their wants or can’t reach them. This can create poor self-esteem and negatively impact the way one views themselves. Making decisions where you are getting what you want and that make you happy can help make you feel more confident about yourself.
5. YOU DESERVE THE BEST!
When it comes to being the best version of ourselves, we must strive to achieve all that we can. It takes a great amount of courage not only to look at a situation and recognize that there may be better options out there, but that you deserve those better options. While settling may often be an easier choice, it doesn’t make it the best choice. We should strive to hold our standards as high as we wish our grades to be! Knowing what you’re looking for and accepting only the best can lead to healthier and happier beginnings.