Why does the caged bird sing? In this case, why does this green owl hurt me so? Over the past few weeks, I have been trying to learn French. I’m studying abroad in Paris and wanted to adequately prepare for the sneers of disgust I’d inevitably receive from Parisians if I didn’t know how to say “je suis un baguette”. Friends suggested I use Duolingo for the process. The interface was “friendly”. The mascot, a verdant owl named ‘Duo’ was kind. Like Paul Sheldon in Misery, I was fooled. Little did I know the trauma that would ensue by Duo. Even Norman Bates’ evil ways were more transparent than the bird — or should I say, the Oiseaux.
The Instances of Abuse in Our Relationship:
#1: Duo emotionally manipulates me. When I don’t immediately bend to his will and command, he gives me the silent treatment, the cold shoulder forcing emotional frostbite unto me. I never give enough for him. He constantly craves…..more (human flesh? Words? Both).
#2: I am constantly threatened with messages decrying my inactivity. No matter the number of cameras and security devices I install in my home, I’m never safe. I hear something rustling outside my window as we speak.
#4: He manipulates my devotion and love for him into a cruel game, awarding me ‘points’ if I let my Stockholm Syndrome take hold of me and participate in his linguistic obstacle courses of torture.
