Be grateful, because others would kill to be in your position.
Gratuity is something that all of us practice; some include it in their day-to-day lives, and some can’t manage to say a simple “thank you.” The concept of being grateful ranges from person to person. To some, being grateful can simply mean saying “thank you” when a stranger holds the door open for you as you rush through endless bodies that also miscalculated “Berkeley time.” To others, it can mean acknowledging the good things life has granted you: a higher education, nice clothes, or a loving family. But for me, I’ve realized that being grateful is way more nuanced than I thought, especially when it comes to college.
There’s no doubt that I’m privileged. My parents have funded my lifestyle ever since I was born. I never had to ask twice to get something I wanted. The five-story Barbie mansion I saw at the store? My dad would load it up in his car before I finished asking for it. The two-week-long Cabo vacation for my birthday? Absolutely. The dirty Golden Goose shoes that everyone seems to hate with a passion, but I think are a beautiful form of art? Consider them bought. When I describe how I grew up with other peers who have different outlooks on life, the general consensus is that I was extremely lucky. Not everyone has the luck that I was granted, and I figured this out early on. I’ve always considered myself someone who’s grateful for the advantages I was given.
However, when I came to college, I began to expand more on what I believed being grateful meant.
Whenever I’d find myself complaining about the challenges of university, like the back-to-back midterms, late-night study sessions, or my painfully boring philosophy lecture, most of my friends would agree, but I began to notice that all of our complaints would either start or end with a sentence similar to “but I’m grateful to be in this position.” This constant acknowledgment of our privilege as students seeking higher education at a prestigious university made me wonder: what’s the balance between being grateful and invalidating your own feelings out of fear of seeming “out of touch?”
One of the biggest challenges I’ve faced when trying to figure out what practicing gratuity meant for me was balancing the concept of being grateful with realism. There were times when I found myself pacing back and forth wondering if I complained too much about my stressful college mishaps, for someone who has lived a rather cushioned life up until college. Something I noticed, at least with my own personal college journey, is that many of us struggle with feeling like we are doing enough, which can translate into feeling less than. It’s hard to feel grateful for the opportunities you’ve been granted when you simply feel like your work is not enough for different reasons.
As someone who always seeks out more, I always manage to convince myself that when I achieve this certain thing I can finally be happy and content with my achievements. Once I get an A on this midterm, I can be happy. Once I get a good score on my practice LSATs, I’ll feel good about myself. Once I pass my yoga instructor audition, I can rest. The reality is that without acknowledging the small victories, it’s almost impossible to feel good about yourself.
So, what does gratuity mean? I’m actually not quite sure. I do know one thing though: balance is key. It’s so important to acknowledge that with the good, comes the bad. But with the bad, also comes the good. It’s essential to acknowledge the privilege that we’re granted, but it’s also valid to express disappointment when hardships happen.