London Fashion Week: The Hangover

London: home to the Royal Baby, Kate Moss and most importantly, Cara Delevingne’s eyebrows. Much like those famous brows, it’s a city that is as ferocious as it is refined, clearly reflected in London’s knack for effortlessly striking fashion.

As we recover from the rager that was London Fashion Week, we are reminded that the best shindigs always end with a little bit of morning-after regret. While we’re still reeling from the onslaught of wild and whimsical shows that turned up on the runways last week, we mustn’t forget to dwell on some of the more, shall we say... “Eccentric” looks that trotted down the catwalk. There’s no denying that the surplus of colours, textures, prints and striking silhouettes on display had us practically licking our computer screens. And yet, between all of the drooling, there were some moments that had us feeling like we were watching a Tim Burton movie… On acid.

So pop that Advil and chug that Gatorade as we remember (and try to forget) the best and the worst from London Fashion Week. Let’s begin with the winning trends:

White Out

 

Left to Right: David Koma, Marios Schwab, Osman

It’s not a party without a little bit of white stuff… clothes, that is. (Sit down, LiLo.) Just when you thought only brides and Jesus could get away with head to toe white gowns, London fashion week proves you wrong. We loved white best in the form of minimal and sleek designs that epitomize the modern woman. 

Tea Party

 

Left to Right: Emilia Wickstead, Burberry, Temperley London, Peter Pilotto

Delicate fabrics, pastels and feminine yet well structured silhouettes dominated in London. Burberry’s runway felt like a step back in time to a 1950s Tupperware party – but like a sexy Tupperware party. 

I see London, I see France, girl, I see your underpants

 

Left to Right: Tom Ford, Pringle of Scotland, Huishan Zhang, Tom Ford

Most notably, Tom Ford brings sexy back with an incredible use luxurious fabrics, among them sheer black mesh and lace. See-through seemed to be a recurring theme for many designers, proving that whoever said “modesty is the best policy” was a liar. They’ve obviously never met Tom Ford. 

Flower Power

 

Left to Right: Matthew Williamson, Temperley London, Mulberry, Matthew Williamson

Several prints were embraced by designers, and while florals for spring seems like the most overdone trope in the book, London’s designers took on the challenge of creating prints that were unique and progressive. Also, they put them on pugs. 

And now, onto the losers. As England’s own Charles Dickens once said, “it was the best of times, it was the fugliest of times,” - and boy, does Charles know what’s up. While the majority of London’s spring looks had us dancing on tables, some of them left us feeling queasy. Because we have more love than hate for our fashionable friends across the pond, and mostly because there is just no way to categorize these mind bending looks, we’ve just thrown them all into a pile I’d like to title:

Fashion?

 

Left to Right: Marques' Almeida, JW Anderson, Meadham Kirchhoff, Ryan Lo, KTZ, Renli Su

On your left, we have what I believe is the ghost of 2001 come back to remind us of the dangers of the tube top. Also, shoes are SO last season.

Next in line is from JW Anderson, whose collection was actually incredibly beautiful—and then he created this human body condom, rouched for your pleasure. 

To the right is a surprise appearance by hamburger enthusiast ‘Wendy'. To be honest, I’m betting this model has never eaten a chocolate frosty in her life. I smell a lawsuit!

Here’s where things get really trippy. Is she a bear? Is she a dog? Has she just passed out into a plate of chocolate cake? More importantly, what on earth is she wearing?

Remember when we said how much we loved florals? Well KTZ loves them so much they decided to make an amateur ghost costume out of them. Congratulations, you have succeeded in creating a feminine yet terrifying…. Ummm… dress? Jumpsuit? Balaclava? I give up.

Just when you thought we were done with weird hats, the crochet visor is born. Because why wear sunglasses when you can peep through some knitwear holes, and keep your eyebrows warm and toasty in the process! 

Well, on that bizarre note, I declare this fashion party over. Hopefully you aren’t too haggard from the surprise-filled escapades of LFW, because lord knows Paris Fashion Week will have more beautiful (and hauntingly ugly) runways for you to ogles. Enjoy with caution!

(All images courtesy of vogue.co.uk)