Growing up, I was obsessed with sorority movies. Before the days of Netflix, I owned all of the classics on DVD: House Bunny, Sorority Wars, Sydney White – to name a few. The one thing all of these movies had in common, however, was that sorority life meant dealing with vapid, shallow women hazing one another to determine if they were “worthy” of the sisterhood. In other words, Hollywood painted a pretty negative image of sorority life.
During my first year at UBC, I knew about the sororities on campus but never pictured myself joining one. I decided that I wasn’t the “sorority type” because I didn’t see myself as having anything in common with those girls in the movies I watched – preppy, superficial, and unfocused on school. I was also certain that I wouldn’t have trouble making friends elsewhere. But, because I was a commuter student and a relatively introverted person, I quickly realized how lonely UBC can feel if you don’t find a community on campus.
This year, my second year at UBC, I was excited because my hometown friend, Celina, was transferring back to UBC. I was surprised to learn that she had decided to go through sorority recrutiment this fall (or, in sorority jargon, rush). She told me about how one of her good friends at UBC had joined a sorority and loved it – how she had found a support system to push her forward. Curious, I started researching the various chapters online and was pleased to learn that in addition to making life long friends, a sorority can also provide you with leadership, volunteer, and event planning opportunities to become move involved on campus. I also learned that to be in a sorority, you need to have and maintain a certain GPA.
Celina convinced me that rushing together would be fun, and that it didn’t mean we had to join at the end of it. Worried about going through another year at UBC with no outside-of-class friends and a feeling of distance from my campus, I decided it couldn’t hurt to try. I binge watched as many YouTube videos as I could find from other girls describing their rush experience and tips, preparing myself for the unknown.
At orientation, I learned that rush would consist of four possible days: tours, invitationals, preference night, and Bid Day. Seeing the 100’s of other girls deciding to rush (over 450 to be exact), I began to question if this was the right decision. Moreover, I had the dreaded fear that I couldn’t possibly standout from all the other girls and that no chapter would invite me back.
Tours: picture speed-dating for friends and that’s what tours feels like. Visits to all 8 chapters for 20 minutes each. What surprised me is that the more houses I visited, the more excited I became at the possibility of joining one of the chapters. Everyone was welcoming, genuine, and sweet. I learned about the various philanthropic work each house did: from hunger initiatives to volunteering at the Ronald McDonald House. It was also incredibly overwhelming; how was I possibly going to decide where I fit in when every house had such inspiring and friendly women? One thing was for sure: my prior images of sorority girls was dead wrong. That night, I picked my top 5 houses based on where I felt I had made strong connections. I went to bed that night exhausted and hopeful.
Invitationals: two days after tours, I was invited back to the Panhellenic house for additional tours – this time 30 minutes each. In the email I received, I was given a start time but no other information. Basically, I knew that at least one of the houses had liked me and wanted to meet again, but I had no idea which house/houses. Based on how great all of my initial meetings had gone, I was certain that I had been invited back to my top 5. When I arrived and received my invitational card, however, I discovered that I had been invited back to three houses. I was instantly confused and felt rejected – why had only 3 of the 8 houses invited me back?
Celina arrived shortly after me and received her card, also with three invites. We discussed our mutual confusion and hurt; it was like having a great first date only to have the guy/girl never text you back. Sensing our disappointment, one of Recruitment Counselors (RC’s) came to talk to us (RC’s are girls who are part of a sorority but for rush week dissociates themselves from their chapters to assist/guide the girls going through rush). She explained to us that getting invited back to 3 houses was actually very common, and that we shouldn’t take non-invites personally. With over 450 women to choose from, it can be pretty difficult for the chapters to narrow it down. She explained that the houses we did get invited back to saw something in us that resonated with their values. Talking with her reminded me of the golden rule of rush, something I would hear again and again: trust the process. With this in mind, I decided to stay positive and focus on the awesome houses that did invite me back.
After meeting with the women at each chapter a second time, my positivity only grew as I saw myself fitting into each one. There was one in particular, however, that I felt especially connected to. That night, we wrote down our top two choices. I felt more confident about two of the houses and submitted my choices.
Preference: The last day before deciding your number one chapter, and the last day for each chapter to decide if they wanted you. I waited eagerly for an email to see if I had been invited back. When it arrived, I nearly jumped for joy. Again, I didn’t know who had invited me back but I knew that at least one chapter had. When I arrived at the Panhellenic house and received my card, I was ecstatic to see that I had been invited back to both houses. For most people, preference night is the best night of rush and after going through it, I can say that I agree. It feels more relaxed than the other two nights – you get to spend an hour with each house and are invited to see their sacred ceremonies. The conversations went beyond “what is your major?” and I began to see why people call their sorority their home away from home. After that night, I knew for sure which house I wanted, where I felt that I belonged. I wrote down my top choice, crossing my fingers that they felt the same way.
Bid Day: The next morning, I received an email informing me that I received a “bid” (an invitation into a sorority). I was excited to know that I had been invited to one, but I was nervous about which one invited me. Later the day, all of the other girls that received bids gathered – no, crammed – together in the Great Hall. You could feel the anticipation in the air as everyone received their cards, unable to open them until everyone had one. I waited impatiently with my invite in my hand, my stomach doing back flips. We counted down from ten, and were finally able to open our cards.
I looked down at my sheet, smiling as I read that I had been invited to join my top choice: Alpha Gamma Delta.
That night, we were invited with open arms into our new homes. I had never felt so instantly accepted just for being myself. I knew that I had made the right choice – I had found my community on campus.
Through out this experience, I felt excited, rejected, disappointed, hopeful, thrilled, and finally, content. I went from skeptical and judgemental of the Greek system to proud and inspired by all of the amazing women I met. I never saw myself joining a sorority, but now I can’t understand why I didn’t decide to do this sooner.
I’m not sure what the future holds, but I can’t wait to begin this new chapter as a member of AGD.
Images taken from UBC sororities & Gifs taken from https://giphy.com/