As college students, we’re stuck in this in between of “Everything is new!” and “Who even am I?” The pressure to decide our future and define our lives is overwhelming. We’ve only just begun the journey to self-discovery and, through discovery, self love. Don’t get me wrong, narcissism is bad. I’m talking about the true, deep, unconditional love of one’s self. After all, who do you have if you don’t have you?
I think that as a generation we underestimate the power of self love. We think that likes, shares, and friend counts define our happiness. We strive to have the “perfect Instagram” so that people will be impressed. I think it’s time we start connecting with each other and learning to love everyone unconditionally, including ourselves.
I say this fully knowing that I have a lot of work to do, as I’m sure most people do. And I don’t know if I’ll ever find a state of complete self love. It’s a journey that will have ups and downs just like every other, but will be such a rewarding experience. So if you’re having a bad day and you need a pat on the back, here are some tips for learning to love yourself.
1. Write down all of the nice things people say about you that made you feel good.
I personally have a list of all the things that make me smile, like babies and pumpkin pie. I also keep a list of everything that someone said to make me feel good about myself. It’s always nice to be able to go reread the list and remember how good you felt in that moment, even if you feel less great now.
2. Tell someone what you’re feeling.
Cliché, I know. But telling someone what you’re feeling gives them a chance to remind you of the reality: that you are an awesome human being who should never feel bad about yourself. There’s a concept in cognitive psychology called PUT THEORY HERE that recognizes our tendency to make up a reality in which we are disliked, put down, and generally just a loser. Naturally, it’s just our brain distorting reality. Telling someone allows them to help you clear your perception of yourself.
3. “Me Time”
Never underestimate the power of a little “me time”. This is an opportunity for you to focus on your emotional, social, and spiritual needs. This are absolutely necessary in being able to love others as well as yourself; you can’t take care of others until you help yourself. I personally like to go to sunrise yoga; even the short walk to the gym gives me time to reflect and plan my day as stress-free as possible.
4. Laugh more.
Life can be so serious that it starts to drag us down. If you’re studying for that bio test or you’re just feeling emotionally drained, go find something that makes you laugh. Whether it’s an episode of your favorite comedy or just a short vine, it’s bound to lift your spirits. So take a break from studying and watch that hilarious cat video you’ve already seen 4 times.
5. Be nice to yourself.
This one should go without saying, but your hardest critic is always you. If your head is constantly filled with self-deprecating thoughts, you are going to start believing them, even if they’re “just jokes”. When you look in the mirror in the morning, remind yourself that there is no one in this world quite like you, and that’s pretty amazing.
No matter how stressful college life is or how down you feel, you have to remember to love yourself unconditionally. The process is long and difficult. But it all becomes worth it when you wake up one morning and realize just how great it feels to be you. So go out there, have a great day, and learn to love yourself.