During our first view weeks at university, we try to do everything right when it comes to making new friends.
Throughout our first days and first weeks at university, we will speak with many people who are probably in a similar situation as we are. To some, we might only introduce ourselves, repeating for the 100th time the same questions: “Where are you from?” “Oh, how far is that from here?” “What do you major in?” With others, the conversation might even go beyond this basic small talk. However, it will only be a few people we meet these days with whom we will actually stay friends with until we graduate some four years later.
I’m in my third year of university now, and when I look at my friends, most of whom I got to know during my first term, I feel like there is some sort of pattern. For starters, we have something to talk about: a shared interest, a similar sense of humour and also a similar attitude towards life. What is most important, I think, is the fact that we all know about each others ‘ flaws, and we appreciate and respect them.
In fact, it was our common clumsiness that helped me get to know one of my best friends during my second week at uni. At the time, I decided that it would be a good idea to join a sports club and socialize with people. I quickly chose a club called “Dance for Fun”. No commitment, no pressure to look good at what you are doing- I was in. I figured it wouldn’t be that bad if I showed up without sport shoes either, as I hadn’t taken any with me yet. In fact, there was another girl who showed up with no shoes at all, only socks. We quickly teamed up when we realized that, without any shoes on, the floor was actually quite slippery. To our luck and amusement, one side of the room was covered with mirrors. This made sure that we watched ourselves trying to imitate the “Just Dance” inspired moves from our instructor at the same time as we noticed ourselves looking like giraffes on ice. It was good fun. End of the story: This is how we became friends, and still are to this day.
When I look back to this moment, I realise that it’s not the “Hey, what courses do you take?” questions and social games that help you make friends. It’s showing yourself as you really are: flawed and authentic hat makes you appear sympathetic to those people you want to hang out with in the future.
The start of university is a great time to get to know a lot of new people. However, it is more interesting to see who you end up being friends with a few months later. Being true to yourself, even though you might find yourself in an utterly new situation, might not be the way to make many friends, but it’s the only way to find real friends who will appreciate you for who you are. These are the people that will stick with us through the ups and downs of our university careers.
How did you get to know your friends at university? Are you still hanging out with the same people as you did at the beginning of your university career?