If you’ve attended a major university in the age of Facebook, it has probably had its own confession page: a place for students to anonymously say whatever they want—or at least, what the page admin will let them. Several UVic confessions pages have appeared over the years, with varying degrees of success. Some are still active. But none are as popular as the “UVic Confessions & Crushes” page.
It all started with this post:
The beginning of something great.
Things only escalated from there. The original title was quickly changed from “UVic Confessions” to its current title, as demand for a separate romance category increased. Now, there are thousands of posts on the page, and it’s the best rabbit hole to fall down.
So what do people confess here? Well, nothing too shocking. Here’s a breakdown of what to expect from the page.
1. Actual confessions
You might be wondering, “Aren’t confessions what the page is for?” Good question. In theory, yes. In practice? Confessions are a fraction of what you’ll see. When you do see them, they can range from run-of-the-mill secrets (weird fetishes, embarrassing mistakes) to secret crushes on best friends. Here’s a good example:
All I can say is… Yikes.
2. Callout posts
Confrontation is something most people avoid like an 8:30 class. That’s why these posts exist. Most of them are along the lines of “The people in X building are way too loud” or “The guy in my psych 100 class eats food with his mouth open DURING lectures.” They’re usually about a specific person or group.
We haven’t heard “Fur Elise” since.
Unlike callout posts, these ones are more general, like a pet peeve type deal.
4. Regular memes
These are sometimes relevant, but usually just memes people want to share. Not the spiciest memes out there, but you might get a chuckle out of them.
This meme, for example, is the kind of thing you’ll see on Confessions.
The ever popular “Brain Expanding” meme.
5. University “Meme War” memes
We here at UVic have a lot of school pride, so when we were invited to join the Great Meme War on November 9th, we went all in. Alliances were formed and broken. Memes to fight UBC and SFU were churned out at an extremely efficient rate. The war wound down around November 13th, but Great Meme War: The Sequel, could be coming soon.
This is one of the tamer memes; there are far spicier ones if this didn’t make you chuckle.
One of the final posts from the Great Meme War. Check out UBC Confessions to see their war contributions.
6. Inter-faculty bullying
Remember how some people hate confrontation? These posts are ones airing grievances people have with other faculties or departments. It’s usually STEM majors vs. everyone else.
There were plenty during exams, but here’s the most recent:
They have a point, I mean, I’m in writing and I don’t call myself a writer.
6. Inside memes
If you ever post a confession, you should be posting with the knowledge that not everyone will agree with you. That’s probably why you’re saying it anonymously! Once a post is out there, it’s fair game to mock, and it will be if it’s ridiculous enough.
Incidentally, the most recent post to transform into a meme was actually our example for point #6. There were several confessions made to mock the post, but I love this one because it dabbles in Meme War territory:
7. Sadness. Just Sadness.
Evidence of how badly students need support, these posts are the most heartbreaking on the page. From struggling with sexuality to feeling lost and alone, these students feel like they have nobody to talk to. These posts became so common that the page’s admin added a space in their confession forms for people to ask for mental health resources.
Screencap from the confessions form
8. Sexual inquiries
Ever wanted to try a threesome? Maybe some BDSM? Plain old-fashioned sex? Send in a post about what you’re wanting to try and you just might find someone. Maybe. Honestly, I’m not sure if these have ever worked. Here’s a typical example:
9. Craigslist-style missed connections
These ones are actually kind of cute sometimes! There’s the odd stalker-type post, but for the most part, it’s people genuinely wanting to find that cute girl they met at Bean There the other day. This one is super cute:
“UVic Confessions & Crushes” is the perfect storm of a page. It lets UVic students say whatever’s on their mind, and it lets readers engage in a weirdly entertaining form of voyeurism. Having just recently surpassed 2000 confessions, this page shows no signs of losing popularity. So go ahead and check out their page, send in some confessions, and scroll for hours until you know way too much about your peers.