Being a “Barely There” Student
Where is my diverse friend group that sits and chats on the North Athletic Field? Where is the golden-hour sunlight shining onto my textbook (that I actually understand) in the library, with my fancy iced drink? Where is my UofT merch I wear everywhere? Where is my brochure-picture perfect uni life?!
See, I was watching Pitch Perfect (2012) a few days back, and I realized… This is what Uni life is supposed to be like. I’m supposed to meet a bunch of cool, diverse people, and we all happen to enjoy the same stuff and become lifetime best friends. I should be spending my afternoons throwing frisbees, joining clubs, and going to events. Instead, my “campus experience” consists of praying the Wi-Fi connects on the first try, maybe getting myself a little Tim Horton’s treat—on the rare occasion—and power-walking to the parking lot the second class ends. It’s an art I’ve perfected. Too well, it seems.
I’ve realized that my younger self who greatly romanticized uni life would also be greatly disappointed in the fact I can’t even keep friends. It isn’t my fault we all have different classes now! Thus, I am a “barely there” student—I’m there on the records at the Office of Registrar, but you probably won’t see me on campus. Ever. Despite the internet telling us all to buy $30 stationary and show up to school like it’s elementary again—I just don’t. I’ve embraced the fact university isn’t my personality; it’s my commute. Maybe things would be a little different if I were a dorm student?
Instead of Pitch Perfect (2012), my uni life is more like a spy mission thriller. Get in, get the credits, get out. There is no reason for me to be sticking around anyway—I just want to go home. Maybe I’ll pop by Davis Building for a coffee (the only people I consistently recognize are the Tim Horton’s employees), and I’ll be on my way home. Sometimes I think about studying at the library, but if you’re anything like me, you’ll always be wondering about how this work could have been done at home. A two hour commute isn’t worth coming to school everyday either, and suddenly being at home is your “uni” life. I obviously feel guilty for it—I call it “Commuter Guilt.” That nagging feeling that you could always be doing more only if you lived closer to (or at) school. I want to be involved in other clubs and events, but I can barely make meetings if my schedule doesn’t line up with them. My best act of campus involvement is probably knowing which bathrooms have good lighting (we see you, IB first floor bathroom!) and where the vending machines (that aren’t completely emptied by 2 PM) are.
The “barely there” student standard experience:
- Google Maps/Transit App takes up half of your screen time
- Being able to power-walk from MN to the bus stop in less than three minutes
- “Who is the mascot???”
- Hoarding your entire home inside your bag (1L waterbottle, laptop, lunch, snacks, headphones, the list continues depending on how many classes you have)
- Dodging depression by getting an iced coffee for the long ride home
I guess I can’t, or shouldn’t, complain. We all have different priorities and different reasons we’re here at UTM. The divide in student life at university can be partly blamed on movie expectations (where is that cool but tragic prof that changes my entire life?) and the fact that we also have lives outside the movie set at school. There wouldn’t be much of a uni movie plot if the main character spent 4 hours on the bus looking out the window or spending that time being stuck in traffic (looking at you, highway 403). But that is the reality for most of us, because life isn’t a movie. Our “coming of age” doesn’t have to be at the library where you just so happen to bump into your male lead; it can be studying on the bus(es) home, or putting up your marked-up calendar on your childhood bedroom wall, or frantically trying to coordinate a hangout with your friends in the group chat that never actually happens. Because the “flaws” we associate with university life aren’t just going to be sticking around for that – those expectations of perfection will be there when you think about any type of “step” you pursue. This can include your job life, married life, having kid life – expectations of perfection won’t always be there. Especially not expectations you’ve learnt from Hollywood, that’s for sure.
So, to my fellow “Barely There” peers: don’t let regret or FOMO trip you up. There are plenty of opportunities in life beyond your undergrad to live up the potential. Besides, nobody is stopping you from starting now! Maybe you are made to be part of UTM’s acapella group (does that exist?) and join a hundred more clubs. But if you don’t, it doesn’t mean you’re any less part of our campus. You don’t need to be part of every club or live in a dorm to achieve a meaningful degree. That’s why we’re all here anyway, right? So while we’re not the main leads in a freshman musical, real life isn’t quite a movie either. There are so many things a dorm student can feel being away from home too, and let’s not even get started with residence prices. Having a bad roommate, having to cook for yourself, small things you should be grateful for as you look out the window on your third transfer bus home. Maybe you like sleeping on your own bed and eating home cooked meals. There’s pros and cons to all aspects of life. Embrace the JOMO (joy of missing out). You’ll be happier and more grateful that way.