My tattoos are on my body. Although many people seem to think that my tattoos were done to please others, they are actually all done for myself. In the past, I’ve received certain comments about my tattoos that were either totally rude, or flat out weird, and just unacceptable altogether. As a way of voicing some things I’ve always wanted to say in response, I’m dedicating this article for those who’ve never had tattoos, to give you some perspective about how your judgment or comments (intentional or not) can resonate with the people who have them.
Staring
I love my tattoos and I’m most likely always going to get new ones, but I can’t help but think about the fact that I always end up wearing long sleeve shirts in 30 degree weather, because I really can’t stand people staring. Since my arms are moderately tattooed, it’s hard for me rock any of my sleeveless tops confidently. This is especially the case when I’m constantly getting random looks and unwanted attention towards my body, usually leaving me with anxiety. What tends to bother me is the fact that normally, people won’t continuously stare at any random body part to the point that person is uncomfortable, so why do it to me just because there’s a tattoo in that area?
What makes matters worse, is when someone will come and ask a person to turn their arm around so they can see their full tattoo. However, you would never think to go up to someone with a scar or a birthmark, and ask them to move their hair out of the way to get a better look at it, so why do it to me? It’s really inconceivable to me that strangers feel that it’s okay to analyze somebody’s arm just because it looks unique. What’s worse is that some of those strangers even feel like they have the right to ask me to model my own body parts for their personal pleasure.
I know that some people with tattoos are more open and inviting towards others looking at their tattoos, and may not be bothered at all. However, that is not an assumption nor excuse any stranger can make if that person hasn’t expressed that. If you want to look at a tattoo, do it quickly, admire the art, and move on.
Asking about the meaning
When I was fighting my out of depressing, I had gotten a tattoo to remind myself of the brighter things ahead of me. Now, whenever people (especially strangers) come up to me and ask ‘’what’s the meaning behind this tattoo?’’, I can’t help but feel a slight panic. I’m not comfortable with lying, but I also don’t want to share my past with mental health issues with people who don’t have the right to know anything about me. Also, most of my tattoos I simply got for the art, there is no ‘’meaning’’ behind them. Whether it has a meaning or not, it is not your right to ask about someone’s private life. Just because you can see my body art, doesn’t mean I’m sharing it with you.
Yes, I know they’re permanent
I always wonder why people felt the need to constantly remind me that tattoos are permanent, I know they are. I’m the one who chose to go through the pain, and spend my money on it, knowing that tattoos will stay in my skin forever. For those who don’t have tattoos, comments like these show a lot of disrespect to that person’s ability to make choices and decisions for their own, which brings me to my next point below!
I am not a child
I always feel I’m being treated like a child when someone starts telling me what I should or should not be doing with my body. It baffles me that for whatever reason, an adult feels the need, and the right to tell another adult what to do or how they should feel about their own skin. I’m sure you’ve never been asked by a random stranger why you don’t have any visible tattoos, or that you’re going to regret leaving your skin bare. It’s really simple, respect my decisions, just as I’ve respected yours.
I won’t regret it
I won’t regret my tattoos. Even in the rare case that I do end up regretting them, why would you feel good about yourself thinking that’s something you should be telling me? It’s an odd concept to think that it’s perfectly acceptable to tell someone they’re going to regret their tattoos, when they invested so much time and money into them. Especially when it doesn’t affect anyone else either.
Here’s what’s totally cool with me
Opinions, snarky remarks, questions about meaning, and condescending criticism aside, there are lots of other great ways to talk about tattoos, and remain respectful! It’s awesome to get questions about who the artist was that did the tattoo, advice (based on my experience) if you’re nervous about getting one, and would like some second opinions, and compliments are always welcome!
I hope that this article about my experiences, as well as many others have had with tattoos, has changed your perspective, awareness, and sensitivity towards those of us with tattoos, or any body art! Of course this article is meant to be purely educational, and also helpful to others who have experienced similar situations. If you’re someone who has done some of the things listed above, then I’m glad you’ve taken the time read this article, and educate yourself for future encounters!